Update

Long time no blog friends!

I have no excuse for my absence, but I will apologize and your nagging/persistence has paid off. Because it has been such a long time, I have several things I must run by you all in sub-titles of course. 

Thus

I love this word and I have decided to replace the word "so" because I say it entirely too much and I sound like a has been on a re-run of 90210. Thus, thus is the new "so."  

Nina

Oh, Nina. Directly upon receiving my financial aid check I had several responsible and adult ways of investing my new cash flow but, instead I went to the Nordstrom sale. NOT GOOD....or was it? Behold, Nina. She is the most fabulous accessories I have ever owned. She is sleek, soft, classy, functional and surprisingly perfect for my day-to-day needs. It is like she reads my mind and has a perfect fit and slot for each of my purse necessities. Thus, I employ each of you to ask the question, Is my purse doing what Nina is doing for Taylor? If you answer anything other than a HELL YA, then you must drop everything and invest in a nice little lass such as Nina. P.S. I figured since I was spending my rent on a purse (investment), she deserved not only a gender, but also a trendy name. 

Ick

I mentioned previously that I took Mr. Darcy to the groomers and was very pleased with the results, but I spoke hastily. Ever since I took him to that petri dish, he has had a upper-respiratory infection and has kindly passed it along to his brother. That's right, I have not 1, but 2 sick pissed off cats. Can you think of anything more fun? Cue Nina. She makes everything seem shinny and new...............wait for it, like a virgin, OOOHH, touch for the very first time....psyc!!! Nonetheless, sickness is everywhere in my apartment.

Miss Joan Came to Town

My favorite little lady came into town yesterday and I am elated! She is a bundle of energy and fresh thoughts that I so enjoy trying to keep up with her. It has been 6 months since I last saw her last and I swear she went from 5 to 15 in that time. Example: She came with me to work and joined in the camp activities. As every other kid was picking their noses and crying about some stupid shit some other reject kid did to them, I found her sitting and staring at a leaf. I asked her what she was doing and she matter-of-factly replied, "Oh just studying the anatomy of a leaf." WTF. This is why I will forever compare any child to those of EP and PP and wonder where everyone else went wrong. 

I noticed today when she and I were driving home singing the Beatles (what other 6 year old sings the Beatles and corrects you when you sing incorrectly? Love her!) and I realized that this has been missing in my life. I have basically been around or been a nanny for children for the past 8 years. I miss them. I miss my Provost time. I mean I love Emily dearly, but I truly cherish my time with Miss Joan in a very different way. Watching her and Finny grow and become much smarter and much more grand than I will ever be, is just glorious. Thus, thank Emily for letting me be a part of their lives. I so love the time I get with them and wish you were all here daily. P.S. She misses you guys so much! We looked at your blog tonight. We sat at the desk and she told me the stories behind all of the pictures of Finn and you all on vacation!

And there you have it. Not much you have missed, but I will try to be more regular. That sounds like pooping schedule. Eww.

Frienemies

My boys are normally very lovely towards each other and spend an ample amount of time in each others company. Will spends most of his time making Fluffy clean and smelling yummy and Fluffy obliges because, well, Fluffy knows he's icky and his fluff takes a lot of work. After battling this last month with tuffs like at Morgs house and a seriously hot and panting cat, Dave and I had Fluffy shaved this morning. 

We had a bit of trouble this morning because we are new in the area, we don't know where a fabulous groomer is and I didn't have time to scout out the perfect place. Thus we called the first place near U. Village and I must say, we are impressed. They are a shelter, groomer, pet store in one!!! I LOVE them:) Dave got to see little babies being fed with bottle and big kitties alike. Oh I wish I could have been there....

So, I came home from a lovely wedding with Brandy to find my pitiful kitty hunched in the corner hall. Why you ask? Because his brother is an asshole thats why!!! Every time we take him to the vet or the groomers, Fluffy gets a scent on him that makes Will turn into satin's feline and makes Fluffy feel like he has the plague. My poor baby is all shaved and scrawny, lookin for some love and support from his brother and all he gets are hisses like I have never heard. He was growling at Fluffy in my kitchen nook and the window was open and some guys from the other apartment complex looked over and asked, "Is that your cat?" Embarrasses and fuming I said yes and shamed Will for his unthoughtfulness and insensitive behavior. I truly don't know what to do. I feel like Will kicks Fluffy hard when he is already down. I asked the pet place if I could bring Will as well so they would both have the smell and she said that it wasn't a good idea:(

Thus, WWIII is at my house tonight. We will sleep soundly to growling and hissing with a scared and slightly colder Fluffy between us. I will post pics as soon as Dave shows me how.

A Very Merry Un-Birthday...

Birthday Week: Fun presents for each day of the week brought to me by Dave and his never-ending amounts of generosity and love. 

Friday:

I got home from my last and final day of Resto (insert: crowd cheering loudly) only to be whisked away for a secret dinner from none other than boyfriend. I had no idea where we were going, until we pulled up to the science center parking lot. Verbatim, this is what I said to my incredibly considerate and thoughtful boy, "really Dave, I don't want a corn dog for my birthday dinner." Yes friends, I am that big of an ass. Dave rolled his eyes and said look up. Yup, Space Needle, for a split second I would have preferred the over processed mystery meat wrapped in deep fried deliciousness. P.S. about 5 years ago I all of the sudden became scared of heights and I have a self diagnosed case of high anxiety...more on that later. Anyway, we went to the top where a literally almost peed my pants. The elevator shoots up and my stomach hit the floor. The day was beautiful and once I had a few drinks in my tummy the spinning and heights were a thing of the past. I enjoyed the best company a girls could have, lobster, drinks, and a view to die for!

Saturday:

I woke up to Dave smiling in my face. "Morning Birthday girl, want some breakfast in bed?!" Five minutes later I got a bowl of Cheerios with bananas in it...mmm. Dave went golfing with his dad while I enjoyed yummy Panyang curry with my favorite almost-sister-in-law. When I got home I got ready to go out with the ladies and tried on several scandalous outfits and of course decided on the oh-so-sensible J.Crew tank and jeans. Sheer bliss and fun was my night with the girls. These are the friends you dream about having when you are in high school. I have the most caring and hilarious girls. We went to pre-drinks and happy hour at Pesos that included a couple too many mojito followed up with a nice game of putt-putt golf. Ivy is freakishly competitive and this requires a visual: imagine a tall leggy blonde in white heels and a fabulous bag, holding a too-short golf club, with a Mikes Hard Lemonade in hand, a bit tipsy, trying to win at putt-putt. I had a hard time containing myself. She got so mad she threw my ball and club in the mini pond. We got in a every-guys-fantasy-girl-fight in the middle of the green about my ball and the result was Ivy knee deep in the ebola and fungus infested water searching for my sporting devices. Later we followed up the golf with Chopstix and several more fruity drinks and singing. Blissful really....

Sunday:

Real Birthday, real hangover...ARGH!!! Da's dad wanted to make me birthday letter pancakes at 8am and I took my pounding brain and pissed off body out on boyfriend. In the end we had pancakes and then a 3 hour nap. I woke up rejuvenated and ready to eat chicken at Mommy's.  With 5 loads of laundry on our backs, we has a glorious down-home dinner. Fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, corn, coleslaw, biscuits, and the oh-so yummy pink Champagne cake. Jealous and salivating? Side-note: The highlights of the night included my drunk G. Ma falling on the floor, her eating one of Georgia's dog treats, putting her fingers into 350 degree grease to pick at undercooked chicken, and repeating the same conversation 7 times before passing out while I blew out my candles. Such class. 

All together a lovely birthday week and so much more than I expected. Thanks to you all...

8th Year, First Time

For the past 7 years father's day has come and gone just as every other day. We all would get together for dinner, as usual, say "Happy Father's Day" to my parents, Mom and Annie, and before I knew it another day would arrive. I don't spend time thinking about my dad on father's day because he doesn't feel like it anymore. I take a moment each year and mentally celebrate the great childhood dad I had. I most certainly DO NOT sit and dwell on what father I have now. 

Alas, today was not like every other day. No one is here. My mom is in Canada, Morgan is at Tyler's home, Sheri is at home, Dave is at his dad's, and I feel so alone. Now I have time to think about not having a dad because I don't have my family rallying around me, all of us not mentioning the elephant in the room, the lack our dad. 

So here is the truth and I must face it. I have a dad. He was lovely for years. I have memories that will last a lifetime of how much fun we had together. I remember his smile, his chair, his tools, and his food. Lots of thing I still remember and I don't want to forget. Then, there are the things I do want to forget. His selfishness, the pain he caused, deception, fighting, me alone, embarrassment, and creating a life where I had a family one day and my four people the next. How does one explain this kind of hurt? He doesn't get it, nor did he ever try to understand. His selfishness reached so far that he couldn't understand what was wrong with me? I will be forever puzzled how I lived with someone for so long and he still couldn't get why cheating and a divorce didn't sit well with me. There are no words for this feeling. It looks like a black hole. Like a headache that wont go away. A headache, hung-over, broken bones, burnt hands, paper-cuts all over, period cramps, kind of hurt. Do you feel that? That was my high school experience. Throw in a whole lot of embarrassment and never-ending questions and doubt from people who are equally selfish. 

Abandonment. That is the word for 2002. He left. Friends left. Family left. Everyone jumped ship on the family Emmerton. No longer did I have 2 sets of grandparents. No longer did I have aunts and uncles. No longer did I have cousins. Everyone gone. 

Today I am alone and he is alone. Such irony. 

Today I feel Father's Day and all it's glory.

A Birthday Wish

Some ask for money, some ask for clothes, me, I want a Helen. A little bundle of joy.  A sweet girl to cuddle up with and to keep me warm on these rainy summer nights. Who's Helen you ask? Well she's none other than.....

Yup, I want an urban goat. They just made the list for domesticated animals in the urban Seattle area. When I received my registration for the boys in the mail, there was a special box to X if you had a urban goat. I so badly want this box to apply to me. My X will be there soon....I hope!

Here's to dreaming of you Helen...

Private Schools

Other than their ridiculously overpriced classes and textbooks, I have found three very key things that I will forever love both Seattle U. and St. Martin for:

1. Small class sizes that make it possible to be something other than a number and make friends easier.

2. Free paper and computer lab time ALL the time. Including the ever accessible people that are working around the clock FOR YOU!

3. Because they charge me WAY too much money to go there, they can afford to put Charmin Ultra toilet paper in their bathrooms, free bath and body works lotion and soap, and the thick and lovely hand towel paper that we all secretly wish was in their home.

This Generation's Old Lady River

You know your are getting older when the Hollywood stars that grew up within your age bracket are moving on from their not-so-sensible pasts and making something of themselves (Please note that the comment "making something of themselves" is used VERY loosely considering the following company). 

Exhibit A: Nicole Richie (Quickest Turn-Around in a Year Award)

Although she is in a serious need for several cheeseburgers, she is in what seems like, a stable relationships with a rather normal Madden brother. Her child is plump and healthy, which I seriously expected otherwise. She hasn't gone out and driven backwards on the freeway or been caught with her drug of choice in quite a while. She is seemingly settled for the time being. Hats off to Miss Richie and her turn-around life in 1 year!

Exhibit B: Britney Spears (Most Improved Award)

It's true, she is still a train wreck by most standards, but far better than, say, one year ago. My point exactly. Homegirl is focus at hanging with her Papa and not not committing suicide in front of an audience otherwise known as her infant children. Nonetheless, she is not as crazy, seeing her kids, not creating horrific headlines, and getting along with K-Fed. Who would have thought that he would be the responsible parent in this situation? Not me for sure!

Exhibit C: Paris Hilton (Missing the Headlines in a Good Way Award)

She still sucks the most of this bunch, but where has she been? It has been so nice not seeing her beav, or lack there of, splashed about in my extremely reliable and sophisticated news source, Us Magazine. She too is in a relatively normal relationship with a Madden. Granted, I'm pretty sure she is just pulling a 7th grade "going out" situation where you REALLY want to be just like your best friend so you date your best friends boyfriends friend or brother. You follow? Anyway, I think she wants to be Nicole and will even date her clone boyfriend. Weird.

There you have it, an overview of my generation's stars. Aren't they just pinnacles of society? Models of perfection and what every little girl should desire to be? Classy ladies right? Hmmmm, not so much. They make me feel old and uneventful. Fine by me....I'll take my MA over their vajayjay photos being in every home in America any day!