A Stick in My Wheel

After a Friday night of pure fun, I awoke on Saturday morning feeling a bit groggy. No worries, I have more fun to do! Wrong! By 9 pm with my best friends ever celebrating my birthday, I was a mess. My head felt like bowling ball, by body was shivering, and my nose had turned into a hose. I came home, promptly put on all the sweat pants I own and shivered Michelin man self to sleep. 

3:24 am, I'm awake because I am literally sweating away my body fat because I have so many clothes on. 

4 am, still not asleep it must be the snot running down my face and the cracked lips. Fun.

Finally I wake up to go out to breakfast with Deb and Tarilyn only to be Debbie Downer because I still feel like I am underwater and sweating like a whore in church. We go to the Sounders Game where I decide that jersey or no jersey, I now remember why I don't wear synthetic fibers. Now, off to Steve and Pam's for another birthday celebration and I am taking a nap through appetizers and downing cold tablets like meth addict during dinner. 

Monday morning. I'm exhausted because I have only slept for 3 hours with an adorable cat on my chest compressing my lungs just a bit more than they already are. Awesome. What a girl will do for a cat on her chest. 

Go to work, only to snap at Kim Hood and having a echo/humming noise in my ear for 3 hours. Finally, I drag my sorry-ass home and sleep for 6 hours and get some homework done. Is this the universe saying slow down or i'll make you slow down? Or, is this punishment? I hate karma....hopefully this is a 3 day cold and I am on the upside:)

Could do with, Could do without

5 Things I could have done without this week:

1) A phone call that should have ruined my week, but alas, I have learned to expect nothing, therefore feel nothing. 

2) 60+ hours of work, moving, closing a site, and caring for very sad children. That kicked my ass and my feet hurt really bad.

3) Only seeing Leslie once when I wanted to see her every day of the week!

4) Having a stupid amount of homework due and really not having time for it. 

5) Knowing that I am going to run like a mad woman tomorrow as I turn 25 and not being able to throughly enjoy it:(

5 Things I could NOT have done without this week:

1) Dave helping my in anything and everything I did this week because he knew we wouldn't be able to spend time together, instead he did all the bitch work right beside me.

2) Seeing Leslie today!

3) Setting up our new site for the summer and knowing that it looks amazing and feeling like this could be the best summer for some kid in W. Seattle and I get to be a part of it!

4) Although this week with be equally crazy, Annie is in town and I get to do a lot of fun family things!

5) Today. Today I get to be with all of my people and celebrate birthdays, Father's Day, and everything in between. I really love that I get today!

The Woes of a Grad Student

Sorry, it has been too long. Want the fill-in of what I have been doing? Well, it's really simple: worrying like a mad woman about how is God's green earth people afford to live while in school. Recently Mrs. Smith posted about how she contributes to society yet there are no benefits for her and so on, and I agree completely. How is it possible that our country pushes me to go to more school and more school, yet my punishment is financial ruin? I am hanging in by a thread, literally. I have contemplated the unimaginable to make ends meet for me, yet I know the real rough patch is yet to come. One word for you: internship. Three long, rough, demanding, scary, unpaid internship semesters of HELL. 

Let me break it down further: 

I have no job in September.

I have an internship that I still need to find that starts in January and must last for THREE semesters, the equivalent of 9 months! U-N-P-A-I-D!!!!!!!!!!

I have to move because I can no longer afford my rent.

I have had to rely financially on Da and I hate putting him in that position.

I'm turning 25 next week and I feel like a 4th grader.

To top it off, all of this combined makes me feel like I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown. 

How do I afford life?

The Things About You Both

1. You made us breakfast every morning from the first day of kindergarten to the last day of high school.

2. You chose to take crazy teens to Europe on your vacation time. Not once, but several times!

3. Every scar and hard time belongs to you because you got us through it.

4. The large educational accomplishments are 30% yours and 70% mine because you make me value it the way you do.

5. Your feelings don't get hurt when I ask you to stop rubbing my hand but keep holding it.

6. You were never asked, forced, or bribed into your role, you took it upon yourself and I feel so lucky.

7. I have your smile, eyes, hair, and boobs. I see you every time I look into the mirror.

8. I have your curiosity, tenacity, need for seclusion, discovery, and odd talent of making everything into a jingle.

9. You put my needs and aspirations before your own for years. I don't know selflessness like you do.

10. You are my best friend.

11. You taught us how to love our sisters.

12. You taught us to appreciate what we have, but strive for more.

13. We know independence because of you

14. If shit hits the fan, I call you and you will help me calm down and fix it. No questions asked.

15. When It comes down to it, I can't imagine my life without you two. I am completely certain if it wasn't for your constant devotion, getting in my business, and love, I would be a failure. My life is a testament to you, my life is yours. 

Happy Mother's Day to the best Mothers one could have.

Stagnation

I have the feeling as if nothing is going anywhere. My school, job, everything is on pause. Why? It might be because I have been on fast-paced auto-pilot for the last semester and now that it is over, life feels slow. Or, it might be that now that everything has slowed down, I am now able to understand just how mundane and blah my life is right now.

Fact: My job is going now where, literally. As of September, I have no job.

Fact: I still have one more grueling year of school that requires SO much time driving that I contemplate skipping and stopping by one of the several casinos I pass on my way down to my educational nowhere, called Lacey.

Fact: Boyfriend and I have the itch to move, do something more, but we cannot. Not because there isn't anywhere that interests us, but because we have NO money whatsoever to make us more happy with where we are. Everyone around us is moving on and up and we are stuck. Nothing bugs me more than two educated, capable, and motivated people without options because of money.

Fact: I want so badly to be successful and not worry about money. I hate saying this, but I would be so much happier if that was one thing I didn't have to worry about.

Final Fact: I am very, VERY blessed. I have people that love me and I love them. I have a home that is filled with laughter and kindness. I have two very adorable kitties that are the sweetest as can be. My family is glorious and life would be incomplete without them. I have constant love and support from Dave who is kind and respectful beyond words. My friends are friends that stories could be written about. They are tough, loving, and awe inspiring. I am lucky.

Stagnation sparks frustration, anger, and boredom. I am not ungrateful, just hoping for more.

When does the "more" begin?

I Still Love Bacon.

We had a discussion with the Y kids about the recent spread and it was interesting to hear their perspective. Each kid had received second hand info from either their parents, teachers, or peers and I could not believe the massive amount of false information they received. They were terrified! Each kids thought they were next to choke all while calling it sPine flu (my giggles here). 

Me: You mean sWine flu? 

Y Kids: No, I mean sPine flu! 

Me: Right.

This made me wonder, do any of these people feeding children false information know that they have a better probability of getting in a car accident, or say shot? For several decades people have died of the flu and now all of the sudden we are worried about it? I'm not sure I get it.

Nonetheless, I refuse to be held hostage by the flu, or any form of it. I could die right now, or yesterday, or tomorrow. Maybe the flu, maybe lightning, who knows. Everyday we step out into the world we run the risk of being the victim of it. But, every moment spent outside of it and closed in, is a moment wasted. They say "Life is Short," I don't plan on wasting it inside and anxiety ridden; I have bigger pigs to fry. 

My final point: I get that this is serious, and I understand that awareness and practicing proper hygiene is grand, but settle yourselves America. We have AIDS, West Nile, Ebola...the flu is the flu, is the flu.   

ABC Family

I love a good teen movie almost as much as I love a good teen show. Lately, I have been using the excuse that I want to know "my kids and what their into," but seriously, I'm lying. I just LOVE awkward moments, ugly kids, and teenage conversation. I started watching The Secret Life of an American Teenager and I can't get enough. It is terrible, TERRIBLE television, but it is a train-wreck I just cannot take my eyes from. Dave painstakingly watches with me, huffing and puffing throughout the entire show. So now that the season is over, I have started to scope out my new cheesy, god-awful, embarrassing show. Unfortunately, my shitty-show standards are set rather high and nothing has caught my eye, until tonight. A MADE FOR TV MOVIE!!!!! Not only does it have an awful title, My Fake Fiance, but it also has Melissa Joan Hart and, wait for it,.......JOEY LAWRENCE! I'm half way through it now, and it has not disappointed. It sucks with wonderfully awkward acting and a stupid plot! Thank you ABC Family:) 

PS They have a show called Greek and their logo is a HUGE red keg cup. Is it just me or is that a tid-bit inappropriate?