A Showmance to Write Home About

I was checking my daily internet, and found out that Jeff and Jordan, from Big Brother 11, are really dating. I was elated! I just love the two of them and decided early on in my summer friends watching, that they would be the couple to watch. Jeff is SO funny and I have a huge crush on him, and Jordan is dumb as all get up, but sweet and kind. I can't wait to see what happens with them, but I hope they are successful in their showmance:)

A Week to Remember

This week has been chaos, or at least I made it feel like chaos. Our beloved pup, Georgia, hurt her leg and it turned into the priciest pain in my ass. Not only is my Bellevue vet a unrealistic, price-quoting idiot, but also strange and wears bright purple eye-shadow that I can't stop staring at. She is talking about important treatment for Georgia and I kept my stare directly at her upper lids wondering if she intended for her cheerleader eye shadow to match her over-sized teacher-meets-Rachel Zoe jewelry. Fascinating really, but I am SO glad not to have to see any of those people for quite some time.

So, Georgia comes back to my TINY apartment to chill and heal. My dumb ass forgets that she is used to going in and out at my mom's house and I forgot to wake up and let her out to use the restroom. Needless to say, I woke up to pee and poo on my lovely rug. Not to worry, she is hurting, so I forgive her. Ugh. So I drive to Kim and Darren's to get their "Spot Dot" and I am telling you, it's great! This little intense carpet cleaner is a wonder. I stared and stared as it did it's dirty work and scrubbed my carpet back to new. Okay, close your eyes, imagine me with my face smooshed on the carpet next to a compact vacuum staring as it's scrub brushes twirl and suction up my messes. Just thinking about it makes me want to spill red wine and see what it can do. Either this thing is the 8th Wonder of the World, or I have cabin fever and need to find a hobby IMMEDIATELY!

After my cleaning frenzy, I sat down to check my email for the 101 time today, and find myself really happy. I have a loving and kind-hearted kitty to my left snuggled up and looking like caramelized fall meets a little lion, a large and aggressive kitty sleeping in his scratching hut looking like he wants me to reach in a touch his tummy, but we both know that would be my death wish, so I marvel from afar, and my sweet old lady, curled up healing in silence and ever-so-often looking up as to say, "Thanks for letting me recover here in silence and sorry I peed on your rug." Dave came home to tell me he loved me as he went back to the office, I'm folding laundry while listening to Rachmaninoff, my homework is done, and I can smell the apple crisp I made for tonight's dessert.

I am happy, right now.

Thoughts

In no particular order:

-Loving my new boots and enjoying my attire creativity because of them

-Missing the presence of good friends

-Thinking of EP a lot lately

-Considering not applying for Doctorate

-Wanting to figure out schedule so that I can permanently incorporate more time with my sister

-Scared that I love staying home so much

-Stressing about internship

-Wondering what I have to do to quit biting my fingernails; I sympathize with smokers

-Doing my Christmas Craft and I love working and creating with my hands

-Want a dog named Fern

-Wish the Mr. Darcy wasn't allergic to himself because soon he will be too expensive

-Been listening to a lot of Don Henley lately

-I need a new hobby

Soon I will actually write something with substance. I feel like I have to have a good come-back topic, which of course, stresses me out because it has to be perfect. More to follow...

I am helping a friend at an estate sale this weekend and she is a really good big sister. This big sister reminds me of how lucky I am to have my wonderful sister. I heart you sister and I miss you.

Dear Grammy,

Yesterday was a day full of you. Dave and I moved everything around in our new apartment to hang up things that remind me of what is most important. I hung the Dick and Jane page I got you and my note is still attached to the back like you left it. I hung your wind chimes outside on our porch and must have stayed out there for an hour until my feet were wet and I was cold.

Around mid-day, I drove over to Aaron Brothers to see if I could fit your style with mine as I found a new frame for the painting you wanted me to have. I told you long ago that the frame was not my taste, and you said, "I don't even know if it is my taste really." I love that. You didn't know, but you liked the painting. I think you would love the new custom frame I got it. Dave and I spent hours try to decided what I would like, and what you would like. It was important to me to find something that I think we could both appreciate. I decided on a cherry wood. It is a plain frame with and distinct ledge rather than bevelled. I hope you like it. The color of the wood brings out the lighter tones in the branches and the magnolias. Maybe you could give me some sort of sign to let me know you like it.

When we got home, I puttered around the house making dinner, fixing stuff, and putting away items that so needed a home in this new place. I pulled out your box, that's what I call the box of things you gave me full of pictures, memories and items that remind me of how much I love you. I have tried to display as many things as I can, but some things I just don't think you would appreciate the neighbors seeing, ie your wedding night "something blue." I keep it safe and think of how happy you were on your wedding night and how much you and Grandpa loved each other. In my mind, it is the most perfect of days.

I miss you so much it hurts sometimes. Please be watching me and be with me as I make my way through another challenge, unemployment. I love you and make sure I have days where all I do is think about you. I love those days.

Love,

Tay

Growing Pains?

My therapist recently told me that I have a hard time with people who don't take responsibility. She explained that I was raised in an environment where being wrong was okay, therefore I am comfortable with saying, "I am wrong." The kicker: Because I don't like it when others don't take responsibility, I create strict boundaries until they do. This is not too great because then I create a situation where I push them away instead of telling them how I feel.

I want to forget that someone hurt me, but I need them to take responsibility before I can move forward. If this doesn't get resolved, I feel like situations will arise where we will circle back to where we once were, not admitting our faults.

Is it growing up when you find yourself censoring what you say, therefore feeling like you are compromising your personality and the very essence of your being?

Music to My Ears

Two words: No Cavities!!!