Cohabitating

I have always been a supporter of living with a partner before one makes a life-long commitment to them. Luckily, my Moms are in support of this as well so there has never been any push-back in that regard. My reasoning for this, is that one learns things that you never knew, and could never get used to unless cohabitating existed. Listed below are some things that I have learned (primarily about Dave), especially important seeing as how I grew up with 3 other girls and never with many males around.

1) Boys are really sweaty and stinky. I am a sweaty girl, but I know exactly where my sweat comes from and I can quickly fix it. Additionally, mine doesn't smell, while boy sweat smells like the inside of an elephants rotting carcass. Imagine piles of sweaty soccer cloths and shoes everywhere...get my drift (pun intended)?!

1a: If I never had lived with a boy, upon serious commitment I would have been shocked to find out that, in fact he smells quite regularly and I do need instruct (politely as he is sensitive) how to properly care for his sweaty clothes because up to this point his mother took care of all his laundry. Additionally, they think the potency of his smells are to be marveled and applauded. In fact, they may call their friends to tell them just how gross they are and brag about how they almost made you barf at first smell. My advice: applaud a little, but direct all clothing to the washer immediately and make him wash directly after.

2) Boys poop A LOT. It is mystifying to me that they can poo 3+ times daily. I imagine it is because they eat 5 times the amount of a girl, but really? That much poo??!!! I am not upset about this, rather fascinated. Again, they may want applause for the smell and expect that you are impressed.

2a: If I had not lived with a boy I would not have known this and would assume that my partner has an awkward intestinal issue and refer them to a doctor. Rather, it has been explained to me that this is quite typical. Good to know.

3) It's not that they ignore you, but be prepared to say the same thing at least 5 times. Additionally, know that when you tell a boy something, there are certain times that they are involved in activities that make it impossible to hear you therefore beware, as you will be annoyed when really they are incapable of processing your words. For example: during a video game or action movie, do NOT remind them to do things or expect sweet words...they are incapable. Similarly, when food is in front of boys you cannot expect anything to register. One must wait until they are no longer hungry, but not too full because again, he will not hear you as he is too worried about his tummy and willing his next trip to the bathroom to come more quickly. Most importantly, do not cushion your requests or reminders with filler words. Get to the point as their attention span is 10 seconds or less when it comes to reminders and anything longer gets categorized as nagging and they turn you off. You do not want to be charged with nagging as it brings up their mother issues and again, you do not want to be categorized with that either. Short and sweet has never been more true.

3a: Without living with a boy, I would have assumed that every word I said was heard and cherished. Although my partner is wonderful and kind, I now cannot expect him to listen to everything I say because in actuality, I am not listening to everything he says. It' s a fine balance you learn after time.

4) Boys are boys. Just because boys age and are then supposed to be called men, they are still boys. They love video games, electronics, action-packed movies, and crude humor. All of which intensifies when you have some of his friends over. Be prepared to be "one of the boys" when friends come over because otherwise you are "the girlfriend" and that is surprisingly not the title you want when gaining the likes of the guy friends.

4a: Gain points with the guy friends by knowing what they like and versing yourself with tid-bits of knowledge. They will think you are adorable for trying rather than asking dozens of questions because they think that is annoying and they give your partner shit for not teaching you anything. Remember, these are the people your partner calls upon when you both are fighting, going through something difficult, or for support. Be nice to them and be friends with them as they can be just as loyal to you, as your partner.

5) Routine is a must. There is nothing better than forming a life routine and rhythm with your partner. You know how to other snuggles, eats, shops, treats your pets, and you learn sacrifice. These lessons cannot be taught by dating and living separately. If you are building a foundation for a successful home-life, then you must practice home-life by building your home-life.

5a: Routine is a preview to what your lives will look like together. If you don't like it or the living situation doesn't mesh, I personally think you will not be successful together. Sacrifice cannot be taught, but must learned and perfected.

And thus, these are some of the lessons I have learned from cohabitating with a boy, as I am a girl raised by girls, and had no understanding of boy-ness.