Will.I.Am: Part 2

Last night we finished packing up everything at the Queen Anne apartment. We decided to leave the cats for last because we didn't want them hot and bothered while we moved and rearranged. So, around 8p last night we made our last round. On the car ride over, Dave explained to me with ample hand gestures and graphic noises, his experiences while trying to get Will in his cat carrier. We both agreed that with sensitive subjects for Will, I am better at negotiating and that I will try round 2 for the cat-in-carrier task. 

We open the front door, and I see Will being as cute as ever. He was brushing his body all over the place and loving the lack of furniture. But, when Dave stepped in the door, he dashed into the bathroom. Dave looks at me with a "Yeah Right" face, and I assure him that I am the cat whisperer. 

I walk in the bathroom, and Will has opened a cabinet and gotten inside. This isn't a regular cabinet, it's unfinished so the left side sits next to the tub and he has wedged his body in-between the ply wood and the tub. More or less, I needed to think fast because I was not going to be able to get him out on my own. Also, Dave and I were SO exhausted after moving, building, painting, and so on, that at 8:30 on our last night, we did not find this entertaining at all. So much so, that Dave suggested smoking him out and I considered it for a second. Or maybe a minute.

Anyway, I turn on the bath water full blast to scare Will enough to get him out, and....it worked!!!! Then, he runs into our bedroom and the task really begins. I buttered him up with love and cuddles, making him think I am the best Mama ever, when I pick him up. His body stiffens for a second and I reply, "There's a bug." This a phrase he knows well and gets very excited for, while instantly looking at all four corners of a room to find the bug. While looking for the bug, I walk over to the carrier and I gently guide him like it was more of a suggestion. When I noticed he was going to reject my suggestion and I needed to make his body in the carrier a requirement, he freaked out by back-peddling his feet and hissing franticly at me. Scared to death, of my own little Will, I immediately dropped him to meet Dave's glance that said, "Oh yeah right, like you thought it was that easy!" 

Plan B. Will in the bedroom with only the carrier and us. We tried to promise him the world and all snacks he desired, yet all he could say was FUCK OFF in hissing and growling. Will jumped up on the window ledge and planted himself there screaming obscenities at us for 20 minutes. Dave grabbed a long pole and was nudging him off the ledge with great force because Will's had feet turned into concrete and his body is not so light. Once on the ground, I realized that the carrier was not going to happen. I told Dave to get a moving box and he looked at me like I just told him that we should breed Will and raise all of his evil spawn babies. 

Dave gets a box and Will is intrigued. He loves boxes and now is some-what interested in his wacky parents that just turned the worlds worst game of carrier into fun box play. Even so, he doesn't budge. Again, Dave grabs his lion-taming-pole and gentling forces him into the box. Just then, Will turned into a Bengal and politely refused. Backed into a corner, we then decided to put the box up to the wall and let him go in on his own but with a little bit of force. 

Important to note: This is where Dave and I had a serious discussion about the methods used. Really, were we putting our cat in a box? Similarly, we wondered quietly to ourselves, and later revealed, I wonder if the new apartment owners like cats? Nonetheless, we proceeded in putting our cat in a box with a pole.

Once the box created a barricaded against the wall with Will in it, we were relieved. But, now came the kicker, "Now what?" We had no idea how to get him from the sideways box against the wall, to a closed box with a happy cat inside. Whilst thinking, my crazed cat said "screw this" and pushed over the box to seek refuge in the bathroom. 

The bathroom was much easier to strategically get the cat in the box. Once in there, Dave used his circus pole and I worked my magic and voile la, cat-in-a-box! We quickly closed the top and put it right side up and just starred in wonder at the freak show in front of us. The box was growling, hissing, and making weird throaty noises I have never heard of. Then, it started moving. I cut some holes in the sides and arm would come through and lash out at nothing. When you looked into a hole, all you saw was the iridescence of his eyes. I had crazy in a box and was terrified of my sweet little baby I loved so much.

After seeing that show, Fluffy gladly walked into the carrier on is own. On the ride over, Will was crying and sounding like my little baby again. We got him through his new front door and Dave and I discussed how we wanted this transition to take place. An anonymous vote decided that we should open the box and run. We let Fluff out and he walked around like a perfect bit of feline perfection and then we pulled the tape on Will's box. Silence from inside the box and outside the box. We pulled back the 4 flaps to reveal my little love in the corner. I was going to reach in, when he hissed at us like I have never seen. I think it lasted 30 seconds and it was followed by a swat and he jumped out from the box going directly under the sofa. Right. 

For the next 3 hours, every time  you walked by, sat near, looked at, talk about, or thought about the underside of the sofa, he would lash his arm out to get you and scream obscenities for about 5 minutes. Fluffy tried to comfort him but only got a clock in the head. He took it gracefully and walked away giving Will some space. We had other errand to run so we decided to leave the wildabeast under the sofa and shower Fluff in love and head out. 

When we returned, we found a very curious Fluff following us everywhere and panting because of the heat and his hectic day, and Will exploring. We tried not to make a big deal of it and we soon discovered that he doesn't want to be friends with us right now. We know this because of the language he was using. 

Last night, Fluff slept with us ALL night. No sign of Will.

This morning, I awoke to a very friendly Will. Rubbing and following my everywhere and I was quite shocked. I got some food, let them out on the balcony where Will quickly noticed the tree and started chewing on it, then came inside and barfed it up on the carpet. Ahhhh, I miss hardwood floors! Then I realized, he's hungry. We tried to find their food last night, but we couldn't and figured they would be okay for the night. So, he was out and about exploring because his fat ass was hungry! Brilliant!!!!! Now he is wondering around saying, "Where the hell is the food in this new place?" while making me happy because he isn't under the sofa yelling at me! Although, now I am nervous to feed him because I fear I will never see him again, until he is scratching my eyeballs out in the middle of the night, scorning me for the box fiasco.

Note of advice: When moving, take away the cat food the day before so your cat is hungry when you get to your new place. They will be searching for hours, thus exploring and getting used to their surroundings.