1. "Stop biting your nails!" or this variation "Get your hands out of your mouth!"
2. "Oh you are definitely going to college, and grad school too!"
3. "Lucky for you, I don't have a stretch mark on me. You'll be thanking me when you give birth because you will bounce back with not a mark on you."
Well, I stopped biting my nails, thank-you-very-much, and I went to college, and grad school too! But, guess what you big lying jerk face, I HAVE THE STRETCH MARK YOU SWORE I WOULDN'T GET!!!! Ugh.
Today, as I contorted my body in a way that no body should twist to get a better look at the grand canyon on my hip, I quickly did what my Annie has always taught me to do in such desperate, and daunting times: research! I got online and found every bit of research on what to do for my lonely canyon and went on to purchased $40 worth of stretch-mark-blasting-deep-moisturizing-cocoa-butter-lather I could find.
Thus, thanks a lot Mama for lying to my face. I think of you everytime I lather up and have to look at this nasty reminder that we do not in fact, share THIS particular gene.
4 comments:
Oh my Precious... you are so cutie.
LOVE the new layout. Thanks for blogging. You are inspiring me to get back to it.
Your profile picture is so pretty!!!
word. let me know how that shiz works. i have a few canyons on my GD love handles that could use some work.
I'm so sorry...even after gaining 50+lbs being pregnant with you and your sister without a mark, that you too would have the same crazy skin that I do.
But, I'm glad you were listening on the important things...nails and school..those items resulted in being true!
I could host a seminar on stretch marks as they literally COVER my freaking body. My mother, who bore 4 children, has not ONE. Completely irritating. And I have found nothing that eradicates them unfortunately. Ah well...
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