A Very Merry Un-Birthday...

Birthday Week: Fun presents for each day of the week brought to me by Dave and his never-ending amounts of generosity and love. 

Friday:

I got home from my last and final day of Resto (insert: crowd cheering loudly) only to be whisked away for a secret dinner from none other than boyfriend. I had no idea where we were going, until we pulled up to the science center parking lot. Verbatim, this is what I said to my incredibly considerate and thoughtful boy, "really Dave, I don't want a corn dog for my birthday dinner." Yes friends, I am that big of an ass. Dave rolled his eyes and said look up. Yup, Space Needle, for a split second I would have preferred the over processed mystery meat wrapped in deep fried deliciousness. P.S. about 5 years ago I all of the sudden became scared of heights and I have a self diagnosed case of high anxiety...more on that later. Anyway, we went to the top where a literally almost peed my pants. The elevator shoots up and my stomach hit the floor. The day was beautiful and once I had a few drinks in my tummy the spinning and heights were a thing of the past. I enjoyed the best company a girls could have, lobster, drinks, and a view to die for!

Saturday:

I woke up to Dave smiling in my face. "Morning Birthday girl, want some breakfast in bed?!" Five minutes later I got a bowl of Cheerios with bananas in it...mmm. Dave went golfing with his dad while I enjoyed yummy Panyang curry with my favorite almost-sister-in-law. When I got home I got ready to go out with the ladies and tried on several scandalous outfits and of course decided on the oh-so-sensible J.Crew tank and jeans. Sheer bliss and fun was my night with the girls. These are the friends you dream about having when you are in high school. I have the most caring and hilarious girls. We went to pre-drinks and happy hour at Pesos that included a couple too many mojito followed up with a nice game of putt-putt golf. Ivy is freakishly competitive and this requires a visual: imagine a tall leggy blonde in white heels and a fabulous bag, holding a too-short golf club, with a Mikes Hard Lemonade in hand, a bit tipsy, trying to win at putt-putt. I had a hard time containing myself. She got so mad she threw my ball and club in the mini pond. We got in a every-guys-fantasy-girl-fight in the middle of the green about my ball and the result was Ivy knee deep in the ebola and fungus infested water searching for my sporting devices. Later we followed up the golf with Chopstix and several more fruity drinks and singing. Blissful really....

Sunday:

Real Birthday, real hangover...ARGH!!! Da's dad wanted to make me birthday letter pancakes at 8am and I took my pounding brain and pissed off body out on boyfriend. In the end we had pancakes and then a 3 hour nap. I woke up rejuvenated and ready to eat chicken at Mommy's.  With 5 loads of laundry on our backs, we has a glorious down-home dinner. Fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, corn, coleslaw, biscuits, and the oh-so yummy pink Champagne cake. Jealous and salivating? Side-note: The highlights of the night included my drunk G. Ma falling on the floor, her eating one of Georgia's dog treats, putting her fingers into 350 degree grease to pick at undercooked chicken, and repeating the same conversation 7 times before passing out while I blew out my candles. Such class. 

All together a lovely birthday week and so much more than I expected. Thanks to you all...

8th Year, First Time

For the past 7 years father's day has come and gone just as every other day. We all would get together for dinner, as usual, say "Happy Father's Day" to my parents, Mom and Annie, and before I knew it another day would arrive. I don't spend time thinking about my dad on father's day because he doesn't feel like it anymore. I take a moment each year and mentally celebrate the great childhood dad I had. I most certainly DO NOT sit and dwell on what father I have now. 

Alas, today was not like every other day. No one is here. My mom is in Canada, Morgan is at Tyler's home, Sheri is at home, Dave is at his dad's, and I feel so alone. Now I have time to think about not having a dad because I don't have my family rallying around me, all of us not mentioning the elephant in the room, the lack our dad. 

So here is the truth and I must face it. I have a dad. He was lovely for years. I have memories that will last a lifetime of how much fun we had together. I remember his smile, his chair, his tools, and his food. Lots of thing I still remember and I don't want to forget. Then, there are the things I do want to forget. His selfishness, the pain he caused, deception, fighting, me alone, embarrassment, and creating a life where I had a family one day and my four people the next. How does one explain this kind of hurt? He doesn't get it, nor did he ever try to understand. His selfishness reached so far that he couldn't understand what was wrong with me? I will be forever puzzled how I lived with someone for so long and he still couldn't get why cheating and a divorce didn't sit well with me. There are no words for this feeling. It looks like a black hole. Like a headache that wont go away. A headache, hung-over, broken bones, burnt hands, paper-cuts all over, period cramps, kind of hurt. Do you feel that? That was my high school experience. Throw in a whole lot of embarrassment and never-ending questions and doubt from people who are equally selfish. 

Abandonment. That is the word for 2002. He left. Friends left. Family left. Everyone jumped ship on the family Emmerton. No longer did I have 2 sets of grandparents. No longer did I have aunts and uncles. No longer did I have cousins. Everyone gone. 

Today I am alone and he is alone. Such irony. 

Today I feel Father's Day and all it's glory.

A Birthday Wish

Some ask for money, some ask for clothes, me, I want a Helen. A little bundle of joy.  A sweet girl to cuddle up with and to keep me warm on these rainy summer nights. Who's Helen you ask? Well she's none other than.....

Yup, I want an urban goat. They just made the list for domesticated animals in the urban Seattle area. When I received my registration for the boys in the mail, there was a special box to X if you had a urban goat. I so badly want this box to apply to me. My X will be there soon....I hope!

Here's to dreaming of you Helen...

Private Schools

Other than their ridiculously overpriced classes and textbooks, I have found three very key things that I will forever love both Seattle U. and St. Martin for:

1. Small class sizes that make it possible to be something other than a number and make friends easier.

2. Free paper and computer lab time ALL the time. Including the ever accessible people that are working around the clock FOR YOU!

3. Because they charge me WAY too much money to go there, they can afford to put Charmin Ultra toilet paper in their bathrooms, free bath and body works lotion and soap, and the thick and lovely hand towel paper that we all secretly wish was in their home.

This Generation's Old Lady River

You know your are getting older when the Hollywood stars that grew up within your age bracket are moving on from their not-so-sensible pasts and making something of themselves (Please note that the comment "making something of themselves" is used VERY loosely considering the following company). 

Exhibit A: Nicole Richie (Quickest Turn-Around in a Year Award)

Although she is in a serious need for several cheeseburgers, she is in what seems like, a stable relationships with a rather normal Madden brother. Her child is plump and healthy, which I seriously expected otherwise. She hasn't gone out and driven backwards on the freeway or been caught with her drug of choice in quite a while. She is seemingly settled for the time being. Hats off to Miss Richie and her turn-around life in 1 year!

Exhibit B: Britney Spears (Most Improved Award)

It's true, she is still a train wreck by most standards, but far better than, say, one year ago. My point exactly. Homegirl is focus at hanging with her Papa and not not committing suicide in front of an audience otherwise known as her infant children. Nonetheless, she is not as crazy, seeing her kids, not creating horrific headlines, and getting along with K-Fed. Who would have thought that he would be the responsible parent in this situation? Not me for sure!

Exhibit C: Paris Hilton (Missing the Headlines in a Good Way Award)

She still sucks the most of this bunch, but where has she been? It has been so nice not seeing her beav, or lack there of, splashed about in my extremely reliable and sophisticated news source, Us Magazine. She too is in a relatively normal relationship with a Madden. Granted, I'm pretty sure she is just pulling a 7th grade "going out" situation where you REALLY want to be just like your best friend so you date your best friends boyfriends friend or brother. You follow? Anyway, I think she wants to be Nicole and will even date her clone boyfriend. Weird.

There you have it, an overview of my generation's stars. Aren't they just pinnacles of society? Models of perfection and what every little girl should desire to be? Classy ladies right? Hmmmm, not so much. They make me feel old and uneventful. Fine by me....I'll take my MA over their vajayjay photos being in every home in America any day! 

7 more weeks to go...

I had class on Wednesday, and it was hell. Correction, the classes were refreshing and fun, but the 9 hours straight without a break, was not as exhilarating. I am trying to make my schedule as simple as possible, but I am dying here. My job is demanding as all get up, my school requires far more work than feasibly possible in one week, I feel like I live in my car, and I miss my family, friends, Dave and cats. The only bright side of this, is that I have only 7 more weeks. That means only 7 more trips down to Olympia and only 7 more weeks of crazy juggling.

On a good note, after this 7 weeks, begins a summer of excitement and chaos. What more could I ask for? I get to go to 2 weddings one of which I get to wear a pretty dress and be Morgs right-hand-lady, spend a weekend with Miss Joan, hopefully go on that trip Dave and I have been planning for 2 years, see my Annie, turn 24, experience how hot an old apartment really can get on Queen Anne, start a new job, finish a second quarter towards my masters, see my kitties turn 2, and just enjoy the sun!

It is starting off rocky, but I have high hopes for this summer.

Side notes:

Morgs: Im glad your fridge is working, I told you it would be fine! Sorry about work, find comfort that I have yet to find a fault in you.

Mom: YEAH for your new kitties! I love when new members join our obsession...give Abner and Chloe a snuggle from their sis Tay!!!!

Sheri: Your vet is a dumb-dumb. Im actually quite pissed at them...I miss you.

Drum Roll Please...

I started this list on August 25, 2007. My dear EP posted about it and I find her ever so clever and I immediately became the girl we all hate, I copied her. Anyway, apparently my entire family is full of girls we hate, because they too copied. Thus, I now do not feel odd about sharing my 100 list. Here is goes in no particular order:

1. I have bitten my nails for as long as I can remember and I hate it. I have spent countless hours analyzing why I do this.

2. I have always thought I belongs to a different era like the 40's or something. I love the clothes and things were just more simple.

3. I bleed silver sage, the token color of Resto.

4. I think raspberries are the best fruit but I really dislike their seeds so I don't eat them often.

5. My Aunt is my best friend

6. I am terrified of scary movies and I don't understand the entertainment factor in them. I also hate heights and onions. These phobias developed in my late teens.

7. Dave makes me a better person

8. Randomly, Dave grabs me and he slow dances with me. I love this. We don't talk and it could be anywhere, in the street, in our bathroom, when we are running late.

9. I miss bacon daily

10. If I start a book I must finish it. 

11. I cry at every monument in my sister's life.

12. When I cry, people think it is because I am drunk, but really its because I love her too much. I can't imagine life without her.

13. Dave is more than okay that I love and put my sister before him

14. I hate the word moist. It reminds me of the McDonalds moist towelettes. Gross

15. EP and her spawns are 3 of my most favorite people. I prefer her children's company to 99% of the worlds

16. I love traveling but I hate getting there

17. It terrifies me that I have the same temper as my dad. It is a daily struggle to control and tame it.

18. If I had a person 100 most beautiful persons list, my mom would be the first

19. I am obsessed with grooming. After I have successfully groomed myself, I move on to Dave and he obliges me

20. I will need serious therapy when my cats die.

21. Im incredibly self-conscious

22. I miss my dad

23. When I dream, they are always the same:

a) Im pregnant

b) a concrete ball is chasing me down a highway in the desert and I cant get off the road or beat it

c) I'm at my old house and I make my way into every room making sure that everything is still in place

24. I feel guilty voting for Obama...I feel like Hillary knows

25. Yellow is my favorite color, but it looks terrible on me

26. I am overly protective of my family

27. Out of all of my traveling, Seattle is my favorite place to be

28. My obsession with US Weekly and People magazine is borderline reportable

29. BBQ sauce plays a key role in all of my meals

30. My feelings get hurt really easily

31. I gossip more than I should

32. I sweat like 12 old men...especially when I drink coffee

33. I really don't like linoleum and formica

34. I won't take medicine and going to the doctor scares me

35. My eyes and I are constantly at battle. They always hurt.

36. I only drink water

37. I think being pregnant will be the most amazing thing ever

38. I might not have kids because I'm scared of the doctors and that it will hurt too much

39. I really don't want to get married, but I will if it means enough to Dave

40. J. Crew is my homebase. I feel like they design clothes specifically for me.

41. I can still do the splits

42. I hate doing laundry

43. Notting Hill is my favorite movie

44. Corn on the cob is my favorite, it reminds me of summer

45. I truly believe that money buys happiness. It is not the only component, but it is a very strong contender.

46. I procrastinate more than I should and I am not good at self-care.

47. I am frightened to be a therapist

48. I wish I had more time for hobbies, or maybe more time in general

49. I have 3 freckles in odd places:

a) On my right boob

b) on the bottom of my left foot

c) on the edge of my eyelid

50. I wish I was a chef

51. Old Hollywood fascinates me

52. Like Sheri, I love biographies

53. I look forward to grocery shopping

54. I am bothered by white walls

55. Reading the newspaper drives my crazy. Afterwards, my hands feel dirty like I just was handling money

56. I tuck my thumbs into my fists like my mom, grandpa, and great uncle.

57. I don't be live in ADD but Im pretty sure I have it.

58. Snow is the most beautiful thing to me

59. I have an ongoing list of my favorite baby names. Thus far, if I were to have three children, I would need at least 3 dozen animals to use up the rest of my names.

60. I am always game for ice cream, cheese, french fries or bacon.

61. I miss Mallory

62. I wish I had a domestic goat named Helen

63. Getting old scares me

64. Although I know I will love being pregnant, I have always felt like I can't have children.

65. When people talk about me behind my back, it truly hurts my feelings. Especially when I don't like them in the first place.

66. I hate T-Mobile

67. When people finish my sentences, I'm not bothered, I feel like we really know each other.

68. I'm opinionated, but not good at it

69. I heart 80's rock!

70. I can remember songs that were playing during monumental events in my life. When I hear them, it takes me back...

71. My mom and Annie gave my sister and I good skin, and they taught us to value and protect it at all costs.

72. French fries are in a separate food group for me that I could not live without.

73. I disagree with every word in the DSM

74. I love fruit snacks

75. Organized religion makes me nervous.

76. Through my education, I have found that my family is not as crazy as I thought. It's comforting

77. I can't wait to be an Auntie

78. Adults that do any of the following bug the hell out of me: watch cartoons, wear Winnie the Pooh clothing, talk baby talk, or talk down to children.

79. Baby talk in general is ridiculous and severely demeaning

80. There is a reason that I have had two boyfriends in my life and they are both Dave. Similarly, there is also a reason that that is the same name as my dad. I don't know what it is, and it makes my nervous to speculate.

81. Like my dad, I love leftovers, but I hate leftover dessert.

82. Women who don't have women friends have women problems and I am not interested in being friends with them.

83. I love TV

84. I too feel like Hanky Panky is swanky. Something about one-size-fits-all suits me

85. Reading is my most favorite thing to do.

86. I enjoy my own company and like going to movies and dinner alone.

87. With a little coaxing, I will try almost anything

88. When cats purr and lick me, I feel like they are welcoming me as one of their own.

89. Spandex is my friend

90. I have kept a journal for years and years.

91. My drink of choice is a mojito

92. Manners are a must...for all ages, or I can't talk to you

93. When I wear a Free People top, I have the most fun

94. My favorite trip was my 21st birthday in New Orleans and I wish I could turn back time so Sheri could have been there.

95. The Beatles are my favorite

96. I lovely spicy foods

97. I only wear chapstick

98. I say fuck way too much

99. Dr. Phil and Dr. Laura make me incredibly angry. They are such poor representatives of my field.

100. I feel more connected to people who have a sister. They understand something that has no words to explain.

There it is. I have so enjoyed all of yours....