Breaking the Cycle

I am in a treatment of abuse class this semester and we started off talking about the pathology of abuse and it's roots. As we all have known for years, the cycle of abuse can only be broken if one person consciously breaks the cycle. I don't want to say it gives those who are abusers an excuse to perpetuate abuse, but people do what the learn, and they learned what they saw. It takes incredibly strong and dedicated people to break this pattern and the breaking away comes with many assumptions and challenges that are much more difficult than the abusing. Many people try with good intentions to stop the cycle, but sadly, it is easier to continue in the fashion of those that once surrounded you. Abuse is not just physical or sexual abuse. The definition of abuse includes mental abuse and emotional abuse. Some experts say it is more accessible to treat physical and sexual abuse, but the real demon to treat, is emotion and mental abuse. They are subjective to their core. You cannot see, touch, or document mental scars. They take years upon years of therapy and treatment for the mental and emotional scars of our past to slowly dissipate. Therapy is the Neosporin for these scars. It takes time and patience and a whole hell of a lot of work.

Thus, the past few weeks of post-wedding splendor has been tainted with the selfishness and chaos of others. I am baffled and speechless with what has been said and done in response to a lack of invitation. I am confused. At the top of each invite and the bottom of each program my darling Sis and Tyson wrote a few words on how they wanted to share their day with those who have loved, supported, and been with them thru everything during the duration of their relationship. Those who cannot say this to be true, there is your reasoning. Enough said.

Similarly, Annie, the qualities I love most about you are exactly the qualities that you have spent a lifetime perfecting. I don't want you to alter one thing....not a one! You have broken the cycle of emotional chaos and I applaud you. You have risen above it and spent countless amounts of time living what you value most. This trait alone is so admirable and I am so sorry that you were alone on your first quest of "self." I wish I could have been there with you as you have been there with me. All I can say is that the hard work you have done has paid off because you are sheer brilliance to me. You emulate the person I can't wait to be. Together you and Mom have created a family culture that is well beyond what you had and I thank you. Thank you for giving me an example of what a family looks like and what siblings should be like. Morgs and I have mirrored you and Mom, and I couldn't think of better models. So, Annie, don't alter anything. Don't try and self-discover your way into leaving emotions out. Those emotions are what connects you and I. We are miles upon mile apart, and when I talk to you, I want the emotion whether it is judgmental or joyful...I want it all!

Finally, my dear Morgs. What i enjoy most about your lack of self-editing is that you encourage others to try it on and pass it around. You have the pick-eye of good traits. I know you got this from Sheri, and keep it up!  No apologies required.

PS I love this Power of 4 business....I feel like I am a Power Ranger of come sort!!!