My calling

When I started college the instant questions was: What is your major? It was quickly followed with: What do you want to do? I always indulged through gritted teeth, and secretly wondered if any of these people even cared. Nonetheless, the partially interested would follow these questions with: Did you always know you wanted to be a _________? Now the obvious answer would be yes, but in my mind I thought, "This is my back-up for sure." My true calling is....wait for it....... I'm an insignificant-fact-knower. Thats right. More narrowly speaking, an insignificant-CELEBRITY-fact-knower. I know you are all green with envy and wondering how lucky I am to be so sure of my calling, but I have to accredit it to my ever-inspiring aunt, and I will for now on refer to as Annie. My Annie is the master if insignificant facts. She taught me all I know...thank you Annie. 

I'm sure you all have a plethora of questions, and I will answer two of the most important, 1) How does one gain this knowledge, and 2) How is this beneficial? 

1) I check people.com as much as I check EP's blog and use the restroom. It is my home-page and the first thing I run to after a vacation. By my definition a vacation can vary from 1 hour to several days. That can give you a idea about how many times I check. This is essential in perfecting my calling. In addition I check a slough of other really important and reliable websites such as tmz.com, thesuperficial.com, perezhilton,com.....I believe you get the idea. 

2) The benefits. Well, this answer is a work in progress. Other than the random category on Jeopardy or the annoying trivia no one can ever remember that I will undoubtedly remember, it is useless. Yet, I have faith in my calling because I feel that in the future I will be in some situation where my insignificant-celebrity-knowledge will be useful and pay off in the long run. Otherwise my calling is pointless and that means I waste a lot of time checking on shit for information.

What is your calling? I bet it's not half as interesting as mine.

PS I think this quality makes Dave love me more, really.