The Test of Time

When I was 13 I tried out for the famous Liberty High School drill team. They were very illusive and all of the girls seemed statuesque and a picture of perfection. My lowly 8th grade self thought that it would be brilliant to enter my high school experience in a cute, and short, skirt. There were about 100 girls that tried out, and 6 of us youngins made the team. Me, Dani Jo, Jenna, Kim, Amber, and Leslie. 

During the 3 years I was on the team, Dani, my best friend, had to quit the team for medical reasons, Kim quit, Amber switched to cheer, and thus it left Leslie, Jenna and I. Jenna and I didn't became besties, but Leslie and I shared an amazing bond. I didn't know anything about her when we first started drill team, but she became one of those people I cannot ever forget. 

During high school I was always with Dave Jones, and she was always with her boyfriend as well, so our school hours were not spent with each other. But, when the school bell rang, we were each others companions for the next 3 hours. We practiced HARD together and worked on anything and everything drill related. 

As the years went on, Leslie began to be a friend to remember. She was so sensible and cut through bull-shit with a genuine smile. Amongst the girls who wanted to get married and make babies instantaneously, stood Leslie, with whom I shared the same fascination with others dreams. We were similar. We wanted college, and grad school, and maybe marriage and kids. We wanted more for ourselves and dreamed as if anything was within our reach. 

I moved to CA and she stayed at the U. Both tied together again by Kappa Delta. She was there the night I met Dave, actually, she was his date! Nonetheless, Leslie has been my person. My person who can share the glory in acceptance letters, good grades, research conferences, and intellectual conversation. She was the first friend to show me that friends are kind and caring, not mean and vindictive. She showed me that pride should be found in accomplishment, not performance. I don't know what I did to deserve Leslie in high school, but she kept me grounded in the last two years. She cut through my excessive crap and waiting patiently for me to find my own. 

She lives in Connecticut now. Doing exactly what she should be doing, getting her doctorate in organizational psychology. Genius. She is so intelligent it hurts. If I didn't love her so much I would be jealous. 

I just got done meeting up for breakfast with her and nothing has changed. She is still the petite, loving, person I met when I was 13. She is smart and encouraging and grounded. She makes me feel like what I am doing right now, is worthwhile. I miss her more than she knows. I talk a lot about how lovely my friends are, but Leslie is the original, my vintage friend that gets better as the years go by. My Lorna. 

Thanks Les for 10 years of friendship. Who would have thought that our combination would be one that stood the test of time. I can't wait for you to be done with Connecticut and come home. I miss you daily...

Hibernation

I have not moved my car since Wednesday morning, we have 7 inches of snow outside, and our neighbors are currently snowboarding down 

Queen Anne Ave. 

Dave and I have been cooped up in our cozy apartment like bears wrapping presents, making anything and everything you can in a crock-pot, watching movies, and snuggling with the boys. During that time, we actually took some photos and remembered how to update them on the laptop. 

It's been amazing, sitting at home with Dave. I have gotten so used to the rush and hustle of everyday life, that it finally cam to a halt and has been moving at a glacial pace since the snow started to fall. I love the snow for many reasons, but this one has now topped the charts. 

The photos consist of our lovely first Christmas tree...I love it! Next is snowy Seattle and Dave and I in snowy Seattle. One of our neighboring streets in all it's winter ice glory. I can't even imagine driving down these roads...Queen Anne is full of a bunch of dumb-asses who constantly think that their expensive SUV's will make it through out wintery tundra. Fluffy in a bag helping us decorate the tree and Will being overly interested in ornaments that are dangling and teasing him daily. Finally, Jabel came over and brought some of his Christmas cheer and taught all of us how to make Christmas Candy Trains! We made those the other night and I got WAY to into it. 

Anyway, this is our holiday season thus far. I hope yours has been as exciting and relaxing as ours!

Let it Snow!!!

There is NOTHING I love more than snow in Seattle. Others think it's a pain, but I beg to differ. The city stands still covered in ice and blissful wisps of snow. School is closed, children are playing outside and not glued to their video games, and mothers are cooking delicious warm suppers for rosy-cheeked little ones. Christmas lights look different and the holiday season is in the air. I soak it up and long for a home that is covered in snow 3/4 of the year.

Drive safe, enjoy the comfort of your home, look up to the sky and embrace the beauty of snow. I'm off to sniff my pot roast....

A Rock and a Hard Place

I work at Cooper Elementary and we are going through some tough times. We have been slated for a school closure. We are a primarily low-income school, have an amazing Autistic program, and have one of the largest ESL population in the Seattle public school system. The saddest thing: the YMCA, teachers, staff, and family's alike will be displaced. The kids will be moved and out of place AGAIN, and now all of the faculty and alternative programs. To add insult to injury, the other schools, family's, PTA, and random others, are being so negative and harsh that I have no words for them. They are just shameful. What are they not considering the well being of the kids? I assume that they think that fighting and spewing angry words is fighting for the school, but it just makes them look like dumb-asses. I am so sad for my kids. I only serve 27 kids daily, but they are our kids, Y kids. They are representative of the population that makes Cooper, Cooper. They love their school and know what is happening around them. I always sneer at the parents that assume their children don't know what is going on around them. WHY???? They are humans, they know what you are saying and what your tone means. You are insulting their intelligence for assuming that they are confused by your condescending tone and disrespectful, none-productive attitude. Shape up! Be an example for them to be proud of, ranting concluded. It must stop. I just hope that we can be mature and proud at the end of all this chaos. 

In the midst, there is a very interesting and smart blog started by an informer. The comments can be offensive and some are highly unintelligent and highly ignorant, but I employ you to take a gander. Form an opinion and let me know. This is not a unique situation and there are hundreds of schools facing this exact predicament. Let me know what you think.....

http://sableverity.wordpress.com/

Giving Thanks

1. I am thankful this year to have the most delightful and supportive friends. These are the friends people, I, dreamed about. They are forever understanding, 3 of the most fun people EVER, and each person has their own individuality that is never compromised by the group. They are so comfortable with being them and I can't get enough time with them. Because they bring out the most fun and crazy person I am, I am so indebted to them this year. Thanks friends!

2. I am thankful for my family's places that they fall. In this economic crisis, I can't tell you have relieving it is to know that all of my favorite people have a safe and secure place to fall and with someone of their own. 

3. I am thankful for my suedo-sister-in-law. I couldn't have been more lucky to have found someone so lovely by chance. I understand when people are in anguish by their significant others family, but I am SO thankful for my Circus friend:) She is calm, normal, fun, reads everything that I do, even though I probably should leave some books to a younger age bracket, plays games all the time and I love that; people don't play enough games, she is always up for Thai or a call about anything and everything. I don't think you realize how appreciative I am of your company.

4. I am thankful for my cats. I know, I know, typical right, but let me tell you, they have a way of making even the most horrific day okay. The two of them were impulse purchases because I lost my beloved Frank, yet they have proved themselves worthy despite my irresponsible shopping habits. My dear Will, you are an asshole, but the best kind. You are the boyfriend everyone hates, but is a gem when no one is watching. You cringe at my touch and bat at my hand, until I pull a crinkly ball out and you play for hours. Once you have tired out, you meet me in bed and climb up my body and situate yourself right on my neck and drool for hours. You purr and purr insisting on more petting and snuggle for hours keeping me nice and warm. Thank you love, I see you for who you are. Now, Fluffy....or Mr. Darcy as I never call you by your real name. You are the light of my life. You are ALWAYS game for petting as you follow me loyally throughout the apartment day after day. Your funny noises and awkward behavior makes me excited to have a pure-breed animal around because you are in fact that weird. I love you both and realize that I am obsessed and I do not feel one bit ashamed for being so.

5. I am thankful for soccer. I despise you for taking Dave away, but I love that he has a special place with you. Dave's love for soccer is annoying at times, but I have to remind myself that it is his thing. He talks about soccer like I talk about our cats and Twilight...they are a match made of perfection. Thank you for being there for Dave as an escape and a constant source of enjoyment.

6. I am thankful for my new mattress. I have gone years not knowing what I should be expecting from my sleep and you have shown me the light. I love this mattress and can, and have, spent full days without moving an inch from the comfort of my 900 thread count sheets, 2 cats, a beautiful boyfriend, and my Sealy perfection.

7. I am thankful for my largest personal purchase this year, Nina. Nina is an item of necessity that again, I'm not sure how I carried on before without her. Micheal Kors made her just for me and although we had an unfortunate incident a few months ago with curry soup spilling all over you, you are barring the smell and trying your hardest not to make me vomit. Thus, although I marvel at you from afar because the smell kind of makes me gag, I love you and appreciate that you cost way too much but were needed just the same.

8. I am thankful for my extended family, the Provost's. Miss Joan is so unimaginably smart and gifted. Her mind flutters every which way at an impeccable pace. I have said this before, she makes me know more about Mrs. Smith because I truly feel like Mrs. Smith was Miss Joan 22 years ago. Annie used to talk about how she preferred our company to adults, and I understand why. I prefer Miss Joan's company instead of so many others because she stretches my brain, she shows me her world and it's optimistic wonder, we look at every bug/animal, and although I feel like when I am with her time goes so fast, it actually slows and she lets me witness her discoveries. My dear Finny. He is one of my own. His chaos and kindness from his core makes me literally have butterflies. He is so sweet and exuberant. Being with him is fast, but the kind of fast that is such a high. When he giggles, everything is light and funny. When he talks about his sissy, my heart mets. The person that capture his heart with have the life of their dreams. Again, I have said this before, but thank you EP and PP for letting me know your children. They are lovely and all the things I have to say are a reflection of you. You are amazing parents and in my field, they are hard to come by. What an example you are...

9. I thankful for school. Although I bitch and moan every waking moment about how hard school is, I love it. I love that I get the opportunity to exercise my freedom, even as a woman, and further my education. Being lucky doesn't get close to the monstrosity of being able to be educated. Thus, I will be in debt, literally and figuratively, for the rest of my life, but I will become Dr. Taylor....how lucky am I?

10. I am thankful for Dave. I get to come home every night to someone who loves me and welcomes me with a smile. He completes my weekends and always indulges me when I ask him to look at the Boys even if it is the 105th time. He vacuums and lets me snuggle under the warm laundry while he folds it and puts it away. He turns his heated seat on in his car for me before I get in and always drives because he knows I hate to. He listens as if he knows what I am talking about whether it is therapist babble, Us magazine gossip, or Twilight updates. He tries to understand why it is necessary to have 10 pillows on the bed and puts a fresh bottled water on my night-stand each night. When Im too tired to get up in the morning and turn my alarm off, he gets it and pushes snooze just the right amount of times. Most of all, I feel his kindness and loyalty to my core. I trust him more than anyone and know he is my partner. I am thankful to share my world with him and for him to welcome it with open arms. 

Smells Like Teen Spirit

Oh what a weekend! I have to go day by day just to explain the over abundant amount of chaos called my life. 

Friday:

With the brilliant help of my favorite people, we served 75 people Thanksgiving dinner with all the fixings! After, I went to Twilight with my seudo-sis-in-law and Kimmel:) I was SO excited and I must say, although their acting has not yet been perfected, the movie was smashing and I can't get enough of the series:)

Saturday:

Go to Barnes and Noble because Amazon.com hates me and apparently doesn't know what 3 day delivery means. My other Twilight books have not showed up so I went and purchased another....that's right I know have two of the same books. Anyway, the Power of 4 set off for Yakima to take Grammy out for lunch. Shortly after Mom gets in a car accident with a dumb-ass without insurance and registration, LOVE IT:( 

We get home, and Mrs. Smith and I hurry because we had to go see NKOTB! Yippee......We got down with 30 minutes to get ready and I must say, it was by far the best show I have ever been to, EVER. It was the first show that I knew all the fellow ladies were returning fans and the same age. All the other concerts I have been to included either a really old crowd or a really young crowd Finally, a crowd to be a part of. We met some lovely girls behind us that were a kick in the pants, made fun of a lot of crimped hair, side pony-tails a plenty, and lots of neon. We heard all the classics, Step-By-Step, Hang Tough, and The Right Stuff. I heart the early 90's!

Lots of drinks later, Mrs. Smith and I found ourselves in our hotels bar to finish the night off with some shots and fries...mmmmm!

PS Throughout the day I was reading New Moon (2nd book in Twilight series) and finished it within 24 hours, 550+pages and all!

Sunday:

Woke up to yummy continental breakfast and a day with my sister. 

In all, a successful weekend for sure. Every bit was too much and chaotic, but I soaked it up! No homework, work, or busy life to deal with...just teenage reading and a concert from my past!

Thanks for such a great weekend Mrs. Smith, it's in my top 5 for sure!

Shout out for Charles, feel better soon, and move in with my Mom already!

Like a Teenage Girl

When I was in 2nd grade I couldn't read. Looking back, I was a hopeless and chaotic child that was most likely undiagnosed with ADD. Oh well. My Mom basically told Ms. Dixon, and the rest of my school, "Shhhhh, don't tell her. She will have to figure out how to learn with this issue of hers." I did. I remember that 2nd grade year more vividly than all the rest. Ms. Dixon worked me hard and good until I loved to read. By the 4th grade I was reading anything and everything you put in front of me. By 6th grade, my sister was in high school reading all sorts of high school literature and well beyond any reading list any teacher gave her. Because Mrs. Smith was reading advanced things for her age with my Annie and Mom, I followed suit and started to read along with them. Not so unfortunately, I skipped reading all of those teen books filled with nonsense and girls worried about pimples. I was comparing the works of Jane Austin and gushing over my newly signed copy of To Kill A Mockingbird. Not your average tween. Thus my theory was formed. I read all of the intellectual books that would be on a regular college seniors work load at the age of 15 so now I am playing catch up to all of the dumb and mindless literature I should have read between the ages of 9-13. 

Example 1#:

Mom was reading the Harry Potter series and I thought she was an idiot. I was too busy reading the Formative Years of Freud. A couple of years later I picked up Harry Potter because I was bored over my Christmas break having read all 10 of my holiday books, and fell in love. I read them all religiously. When the last book was released, I was the twenty-something standing in line with my cape, wand, book, awaiting my certificate of graduation from Hogwarts and a petrified Phoenix tear. (Really it's a rainbow ribbon with a plastic chunk attached to it....it is very meaningful) I was that girl.

Example 2#:

I love all teen girl movies. Mrs. Smith and I cannot get enough of them, and I squirm with delight when they come out on video or On Demand. We are the only so-called "Adults" I know that have an infatuation with awkward teenage moments. Literally, I get a suspicious high when seeing them fall, get a pimple, or get a date. I LOVE IT! 

Example 3#: (Most important as I am currently trying to keep my mind distracted for enough time to not think about this for one minute...so far, not successful)

I constantly feel like I need to keep in touch with my teen base because they are a large population that I will be working with in my practice. Really, I use this as an excuse to read and watch everything teen related:( Anyway, a bunch of my kids were talking about this series of books about vampires that they love, called Twilight. Intrigued, I asked a few of my fellow classmates at St. Martin if they had heard of it, they said yes but didn't give many details. On a whim, I bought the first book on Friday and decided I would give it a try. Holy Shit! I'm in love and hooked. I cannot rave enough about these books and to be quite honest I can't really tell you why. They are intriguing and fantastic and I know why my kids think they are so great. Teens find themselves comparing themselves to vampire because teens think they are indestructible and vampires are. Very complicated concept, but believe it or not, resea

rch has show this to be true. Besides the point, I'm a suedo teenage girl and found myself done with the book in two days whilst completely ignoring Dave and gushing about the details of Bella and Edward to the teenage girls of the YMCA. I'm cool Teacher Taylor now. I spent 2 hours talking to 5 girls about how dreamy Edward is, when a Mom came to intervene and told me she thought it was nice of me to "play along" like I had read the book and enjoyed it in hopes to connect with kids on a deeper level. I have yet to tell her that I lead that conversation and I'm a groupie for Twilight. 

Anyway, get out and read it. I liked it and can't wait until Amazon delivers the next 3 books in 2 days even if I did pay $24 for them to be rush shipped! Happy teenage reading to you all:)

PS I pre-ordered my movie tickets to see Twilight the movie when it opens on Friday. I literally have butterflies when I think about how great it is going to be.

It Could Happen

On December 4th we are going to see Augusten Burroughs, and I am elated. It is a Pierce College in Puyallup, and I have no idea what or where that is....and I don't care! It is a small venue for only 200 people. In my head, it will go like this...

No one comes to this because they forgot the day or something of that nature. Because of this, we are the only four in the audience. Augusten asks us to move to the front of the room to ask whatever we like. He decides that this is a dumb set up and asks us if we would like to have dinner with him, Cow, and his boyfriend. Of course we agree and have a splendid time and he is sad when the night is over. We all exchange phone numbers and Mom invites him over for Christmas. He says, "Of course!!!," and we all get together days later. This is the culmination of our budding friendships because he decides he loves us and Seattle so much that he is now moving to Seattle!!! Much to my surprise he loves Queen Anne and moves in down the street. Sheri moves up because Augusten begs her and we all live within 10 minutes of each other. I watch his dog when he is away, and we all make fun of everything together....really, it is bliss. Augusten then decided that he is going to employ me after grad school because he loves me so much. I love my job and he decides to have his great friend Haven Kimmel come over. Augusten is over the moon that she is visiting and meeting us and guess what? She loves us as well and relocates her whole family to join our new literary family! Much to everyone's surprise, including my own, Dave and I decided to get married. Augsten is overjoyed when I ask him to walk me down the aisle. He is a vital part of our family. Over the years Augusten and Haven have become our family and now join us in Christmas crafts and Sunday dinners.

This is what I envision for our new lives after December 4th. Is it likely? I think so....It could happen:)

Grace

I watched along with everyone else last night. I haven't felt that kind of American unity since 9/11.

I was in my Senior year in high school, working as a teachers assistant in the office. It was early morning and I was walking down to give a note to one of the teachers. As I passed by one of the classrooms the news was on and a burning tower flashed quickly before my eyes as I walked past the class and up to the office. Again the television was on. We all watched in horror thinking, "What a terrible mistake." As we watched further, all of the sudden out of the corner of the screen, flew another plane. This was no accident. We all froze. I heard the world stop turning and it was so quiet that you could hear a buzzing in the air. At that moment, the intercom went on and I could hear the principal ask everyone to stand for the Pledge of Allegiance. Again, you could hear and feel the scooting of chairs and the voices of my peers echoing down the halls. I knew then, that everyone in the U.S. was saying a prayer, pledging their allegiance, or crying out. This was my first experience with a universal cry of sadness.

Last night, those feelings arose again. Not of sadness, but of camaraderie. We, as a nation, have been through horror for the last 8 years. I don't put all of the blame of W, but he definitely had his hand in the destruction of our country's moral, reputation, honor, trust, and freedoms. I watched each of the red and blue states light up wishing and hoping with each and every American for change. Hope was in the air. I felt that frozen moment. Suspended in air where I could actually feel a shift in the energy others were giving off. As we all cheered on the 44th President of the United States, the world experienced a bit more carbon dioxide than usual as the United States took a deep breath. The tension that built up and the times of holding our breath is over. Let it all out...breath.

So, I am lucky to have experienced two frozen moments in my life as an American. I am involved in a time where I feel heard and a part of something as uniting as voting should be. I applaud my fellow Americans, both Republican and Democrats alike, and can I say, you amaze me. I am so proud...

Barack Obama, you are so very lucky to govern the United States. We are versatile, resilient, and ready to take what is in store for us. With you by our sides as we step into the unknown, I cannot thank you enough for making me feel safe and a part of something big. The courtship is over, our anniversary will be January 1, 2009 and I cannot wait to start our 8 year marriage!

Welcome to my life.

A Song for the One I Love

This song is a testament for my love and devotion for the one and only, YOU

(Sing to the tune of America the Beautiful...patriotic, right?!)

Oh, Thanksgiving turkey sandwich

That I consume so fast

Once you touch my lips so sweet

My heart flutters alas

Turkey Sandwich,

Turkey Sandwich

Oh how you taste so good.

With cranberry, potatoes, gravy,

I cannot get enough.

Now walk yourself, correction, run to the nearest Metropolitan Market and get a Turkey Dinner Sandwich. It is blissful and glutenous. I love it...

Are You My Mother?

I miss my Mom. Come home from Greece soon...the U.S and "us" miss you!

She Bugs

I stumbled upon this and all I can say is, ARRRRRRRGHHHHHHH!!!!! Why, why WHY is she even a candidate? I just don't understand.

Read me, then have a drink: 

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081022/ap_on_el_pr/palin_family_travel

Top 3 Readings of Today:

1. Read EP blog and wanted to climb through my screen and b*tch slap the ignoramus posting comments full of inaccurate facts and egocentric values. Ugh!! I feel dirty when I am around or read about people such and them.

2. Read Mrs. Smith's blog about the beloved Haven Kimmel and proceeded to read either blog to the staff at the YMCA. All of them were either sick to their stomachs or doing the potty dance. I, on the other hand, had the look of shock with the hand over my mouth. Again, ugh...

3. Opened an email with Boss Kim and it was the Big Y asking for her to come in and do dishes. This is funny and rather offensive, because Boss Kim is the director of the program. PROBLEM SOLVE PEOPLE!!!! There is 6+ staff people, someone, anyone, can do the dishes. WTF???

Mojito Magic

My friend K. Hood and I got home from work today and relaxed with a pitcher of Mojitos (Note to self: Dark rum is just as good as light believe it or not!!!! It taste like vanilla mint Orbitz gum...mmmm) and cheese. After several drinks, the TV changed to Walker Texas Ranger. I have never watched this show in my life and it is lots of mullets + bad acting...my favorite. Nonetheless, for year we (us girls) have heard of a famous dance that K. Hood made up as a 3rd grader to the Walker theme song. It has taken YEARS of coaxing and tonight my friends, I have seen the dance. I am here to tell you, it was worth the wait and one of the most ridiculous things I have ever seen. Full of hand motions, V-fingers across the eyes, tough facial expressions, and all the fixin's were added and these were not just for comic relief. The dance was preformed with complete seriousness and dedication. Lots of self-discipline and practice was put into this production. I loved every minute of it and I was on the brink of wetting myself. I laughed so hard there wasn't any noise and I had slits for eyes! Thanks K. Hood for the performance of a lifetime....glad to be the first critic. I give it 2 V-fingers across the eyes and 2 thumbs up:)

PS Congrats to EP for becoming an Auntie twice over. Meg, you seem like such a great blog mother...hope to meet you soon. Yeah for you:)

And it's only 10am

Already this morning...

-Woke up at 6:30am leaving me 10 minutes to look presentable. This means I pushed the snooze button 6 times. I don't know whether I love my new mattress or I hate my new mattress.

-I've had 4 cups of tea and feel like my insides are radiating like 19 preschoolers.

-I had a dance party with 19 preschoolers dressed up for Super Hero Day.

-Read Us Weekly from front to back.

-Researched therapists

-Planned out next semester

More on the rest of the day as I feel myself slowly falling into exhaustion. I must nap today...

EP Influence

I started my blog because of EP. I just got an email from her that made me sob. I miss her, Miss Joan, and Finny too much. I love these people because they are part of my family. As Miss Joan says, we are a part of each others families because we decided so. I can't think of a better reason.

EP started a blogging trend amongst my family and amongst my friends and I can't thank her enough for being a tid-bit geeky and passing it around. She sent me a link to her family photos and, again, I haven't sobbed that much in a while. I felt like I was hanging out with them all over again. The music that the photographer had playing while I was watching the Provost Picture Show was an amazing choice that suits this family so well. They look so beautiful...

Thus, in true copy-cat fashion, I am following EP's lead...

Outside my window: The Space Needle on a rainy Seattle night.

Daily rhythm: Up at 6am, out the door to work, make a cup of tea, play with some kids, LOTS of paperwork, play with kids again, drive home over the ever-beautiful viaduct, find the impossible parking spot on the impossible Queen Anne hill, open the door to two silly kitties and one adoring and kind Dave, debate about who makes dinner, play Cribbage, blog, fall asleep with Dave by my side in my new Sealy perfection. Repeat x5 and then weekend bliss...

I am thankful for: Having a job, home, stability in this shit-can economy. I feel for everyone who is forced to leave their homes, pets, and jobs. 

In the kitchen: Is a lot of yummy food I don't have time to do anything with. Also, two noisy cats who I fear are biting each others backs and slapping each others faces. I think they love each other very much. PS I'm working on Dave to let me have another:)

Breakfast: Delicious and my favorite. I only wish I had time to do it justice each morning. Sadly, 10 minutes more of sleep always wins:(

I haven't found: The right balance between school, work, family, friends, without feeling like I am cheating out on another's time.

Lunch: I wish I had time for this one, but usually it includes more tea and something small to snack on

Supper: Funny word. Dinner on Queen Anne is always delicious and tasty. I should cook more...

I am wearing: Dave's wife beater tank, stretch pants, and a tired pony-tail. It's sad really.

I am creating: A life of hopeful happiness, integrity, honesty, lots of family (and kitties), and excitement!

Bringing beauty to my home: Is tough when there are Fluffy's tuffs of hair everywhere. Literally.

I am reading: A ton of books about sexual abuse and children with ADD. Very sad.

I am hoping: For the world to stop spinning just for a moment. I need to gain my footing again and feel like I can handle all of the balls I am currently juggling. 

Around the house: I feel the need to nest. I want things that will make it feel complete. Of course that includes someone else to clean the boys box, clean up Fluff's tuffs, do laundry, and everything else so I can catch up on my TiVo...I miss her so.

Making plans: For a luxurious vacation with Dave in February and a May trip with my favorite person to Paris. I can't wait.

My Name

For years I have had a stash of names that I wanted to use for future kids or pets and my stash has been breached. Ever since I fell in love with To Kill a Mockingbird in 3rd grade (thank you Annie), I have been obsessed with either having and little boy and/or dog named Jem and a little girl and/or cat named Harper. Harper especially has been my prized possession. I swore EP to secrecy while all of her friends went prego and asked for name suggestions, I made my girlfriends pinkie swear 1st grade style to never steal it, I became obsessed with putting my name in the witness protection program. Alas, the worst thing that could ever happen, happened this summer, a celebrity got a hold of my beloved name. One of the Dixie Chicks named one of their new little chicks Harper. Since they fabulously bashed Bush they have been on the outs and I figured no one would get wind of the name. Sadly, some other no-named actress stole it as well. And here I am now, at my breaking point, Lisa-Marie Presley has named one of her new twin daughters Harper. I feel like it is the end of an era. I love, love, LOVE this name and it can never be mine. Oh well i guess....I am off to discover my next "new" name and hopefully it wont be stolen again.

Imagine

Mom is in Greece and Italy with a large possibility of Croatia and Turkey for the next 3 weeks. I am so jealous I can't stand it. In the past I have been lacking funds to vacation but with all the time in the world, now, I can afford a vacation, but I have NO time what-so-ever. This kind of hilarity only exists in my life and I don't know whether to laugh or cry at it....I suppose I will laugh. Nonetheless, enjoy yourself Mama and I know you and Charley will come back refreshed and in love with Charley's homeland!

Love Letter

I heart you for your awe inspiring views and love for this broken country. You are the puzzle master to this country of shambles....please put us back together. All of my hopes are in you and although I am one of millions, I am behind you now and always. Thank you...

Palin Predicament

What I like:

1. Cute glasses
2. Perfectly styled hair
3. I like most of her children's names
4. ?.....Can't think of anything else:(

What I don't like:

1. Ban on gay marriage
2. Wanting to overturn Roe v. Wade
3. She flat out has no idea what she is talking about
4. She likes John McCain
5. That she brings her troop of children everywhere when she should have them in school
6. Creationism taught in school
7. Her pregnant teen daughter
8. In comprarison, I had travelled more than she by the age of 12. I don't call my time forgiegn policy experience or international affairs, yet she does and 2 of the 3 place she has been have been layovers for no more than 4 hours.
9. Her interview with Katie Couric...enough said
10. She says she is middle class, but check out her home

Of course there are more reasons, but I just can't stomach anymore talk about her. Really, I get sick in the stomach and imagine my life in Canada if she and old man river are elected.

Postman Pat has Delivered

Dear Lupus,

My dear friend EP is the strongest, kindest, thoughtful person I know and, of course, in my top five. Do you think you can back the F**K off for a bit so she can have some fun and rest a bit? Think about it, because she is most deserving.

Thanks,

Taylor

PS You suck and I hate you:(

Honeymoon is Over

On my way to work this morning I missed a call from Morgan and I about drove off the road I was laughing so hard. She said the following:

"Hey, I thought I would catch you before you went to work, but I think my relationship with Mexico is about done. I have some sort of funk and I woke up this morning with some kind of rash on my leg that I can only think is an allergic reaction, but I'm not allergic to anything. (Deep Sigh) I think a honeymoon is over once you have a rash. Right, well, I'll call you later to further discuss....Love you, bye"

+ = Yuck!

I heart my sister:)

Come home soon rashy bride...

Up, Up, and Away!

I got the promotion I have been waiting for today! I really wanted it because I LOVE my boss and wanted to help her out, but also because I need to have a new form of health insurance because I can't afford my required therapy:( Alas, YIPPEE!!!!! I can't wait to get in the groove of this new position...

Please, PLEASE, PAAAAA-LEEEASE!!!!

Can I please look like her at 43? Wait, can I look like her now? She is my top Emmy pick this year for being and looking amazing!!!

Oh, I just love award season!

Beautiful Trauma

On Saturday we went to the funeral of 1st Lt. Nic Madroza. Dave went to both high school and college and played soccer with him throughout. I met Nic once. 

He died in Afghanistan on September 9th in a hummer on his way back to base. Him, 2 other American Marines, and an Afghani interpreter. 

When we walked from the parking lot into the church it was pure silence. There were about 12+ marines with flags outside awaiting the hearse. I turned around and watched 7 Marines pull the solid metal casket out of the car and they looked statuesque. I know they were struggling with the weight of the casket and restrictiveness of their uniforms, and I was in awe. 

During the ceremony, I had a hard time paying attention to the family members because my focus was on the front of the chapel. His casket was covered in the flag and his army garb set up behind. His helmet and ID tags hung above is dirty boots and camouflage jacket. I stared in horror that his shoes still had Afghani dirt encrusted on their soles, his helmet still had his hair stuck in the nooks, his tags still had his finger prints on the cold metal, and camo jacket still smelled of him. He was there in front of everyone in every form but a pulse. 

When the ceremony was about to commence, his commanding officer, also his uncle, stood in front of Nic's heaped shouldered parents to present a purple heart. I had such pride for their son. Once the purple heart was received, the Marines call attendance as a tradition. This was all very foreign to me, and I was bewildered at what took place. They called each Marines name and then they said "1st Lt. Nic Madroza" and repeated it 5 times. I was horrified. He didn't answer. With every repetition of his name, his mothers shoulders shook. Her body convulsed for the lack of answer and the erie, crisp air. Every face was one of shock; Nic would not answer. Amidst the horror, the french horn sang the classic tune that reminds us all of Gettysburg and death. I sobbed and I met him once. 

This was such an amazing and scary experience. I have not experienced first hand any direct effects of Bush's chaotic and ridiculous war until this weekend. Nic's bravery and love for something so much larger than himself was humbling. I cannot express my love for his dedication and the pure, unaffected, and unwavering beauty of his service.

Thank you is not enough for 1st Lt. Nic Madroza, but it is what my limited vocabulary can offer. Thank you...

Nancy Drew

In our teeny-tiny bathroom, which we kindly called the airplane bathroom or Fluffy's favorite room, we have 2 toilet paper holders. Yup, 2. We have one traditional style holder next to the toilet, and another inside the shower. It is built into the tile so I know it was on purpose, but every time I sit down onto the porcelain throne, I stay just one second longer and ponder what the reasoning or purpose of the extra toilet holder might be. Our building was built in the early 50's, so maybe that explains it, but I have yet to break the mystery with my 3rd grade detective work. Until then I will be Nancy Drew-ing in my bathroom.

Stay Tuned Complete

A great new blogger asked her peeps to check this out...your turn:

http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articleoprah.aspx?cp-documentid=10274156&GT1=32023

Now that you have finished reading this, here are my thoughts. This woman seems very unhappy in her marriage and rightfully so, I wouldn't want to be in her relationship either. But, here it is, you make the relationship you are in. With the exception of any form of abuse or neglect, I believe people are responsible for their relationships and the upkeep required. Example: my parents. They are the perfect example of something right going strangely awry. I have never been quiet about BOTH my parents being at fault for their marriage, but I also have not been quiet about who's exit strategy reigns supreme (Mama shout-out:) My parents had ample amounts of time to bandage and repair their relationship. Even before Mrs. Smith and I were in the picture they could have been doing some preventative work. EVERY COUPLE SHOULD BE ACTIVELY WORKING ON THEIR RELATIONSHIP OR THEY HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME, BUT THEMSELVES, WHEN IT DISINTEGRATES!!!

Again, I am not quiet about my relationships and take blame for not working and trying as hard as I could in some of my relationships. I am BIG on taking responsibility. If you can't take responsibility in your life then I can't be your friend, sorry. Dave and I work all the time on what we should be. And to be honest, you have to come right out and say it. The best lesson I have learned is that no one knows you well enough to know your own thoughts so you best come out and ask for what you want. Then if the person listening chooses not to work on your desires, they are choosing not to take your needs into consideration and you can now be done with them. I don't want the people who don't consider me included in my life. Everything someone wants or tells me I contemplate in depth, know this my friends, and I expect the same. I tell Dave what I need from him and he chooses to make me happy, just as I do for him. I cannot get into his head just as he cannot enter mine. Charades has never been my strong suit so we just come right out and communicate in our house.

To come full circle, I understand the woman in the article could be tired of her life, but stop bumming on what it is and doing something for what could be. If your husband doesn't listen to you, or doesn't want to actively work on your relationship, then you get out. But not without knowing you have fought like hell to make it work. Your kids will thank you for your effort and I am 100% sure they see how unhappy you are making your life. Impress them with your hard work and passion for your family.

River Runs Through It

This weekend is Kim's birthday and we are taking her to the ever-obnoxious Leavenworth. I love it here. It is the place that makes no excuses or reasons for being the most random town in Washington. Seriously, who puts a Bavarian village in the middle of the mountains in WA? Whoever it was, kudos to you my friend because I am always entertained with plenty of wine, cheese, and goofy outfits/words.

Anyway, we are taking here this weekend and among out list of activities we thought it would be fun to do some spa treatments. A few years back, Brandy and I went to Leavenworth and stumbled upon this picture for treatments and about peed our pants. Imagine if this were possible. Alas, it was a winter trip and we quickly put it out of our minds. Now, with the summer ending, we approached the idea of going to Leavenworth to fulfill our Winters-past dream. Oh, and for Kim's birthday:) Brandy and I squealed with delight at the thought of our spa fantasies coming true. So, I called them to make sure it was legit.



Here is what the phone call consisted of:

Spa Woman: "Solstice Spa how may I help you?"

Me: "Um, I saw a while ago on your website that you do massages in the river, is that true?"

Spa Woman: (giggles) "Uh, what?"

Me: "Yeah you showed a picture of a woman having a massage in the river. Do you do that or not?"

Spa Woman: "No. That would be entirely too difficult and it was just a photo."

Me: "Okay thanks."

Spa Woman: "I've never had anyone ask that before."

Me: "Right. Thanks."

Picture me bright red and sweating because I now feel like a huge dumb-ass. By the way, if you have a picture of it on your website, I'm assuming that you provide that service. Ugh. I feel lame.

What's Another Few Months?

Tonight at school I was going over my educational timeline and my friend Holly asked what it looked like, so I told her what program and certifications I was doing. Much to my surprise, she gave me a heads up on how I can also get my teaching certificate! Here's how it would all go down...

2 years of current masters program= MA in Counseling Psychology

2.5 years of current masters program= MA in Counseling Psychology, MFT (Marriage and Family Therapy license)

Upper 2 I am currently doing....below is the addition!

2.75 years of current masters program= MA in Counseling Psychology, MFT, and Teaching Certificate allowing me to be a guidance counselor

Turns out the classes required to receive your teaching certificate overlap my courses as a therapist. All I have to do is take 3 more courses and 1 more internship and I'm a guidance counselor as well! Pretty neat....I think I'll do it!

So, I signed myself up for another semester and more debt tonight and I feel great!

Download of the day: Joshua Radin, Today (EP, you will love this!)

Read Me

Love this, love author, love the ideas, but hate the subject. Enjoy friends...

http://www.latimes.com/news/printedition/opinion/la-oe-steinem4-2008sep04,0,1290251.story

Bring on Fall

Fall is my favorite time of year. It reminds me of change and transformation. Fall brings the start of school, new blankets, cocoa, football games, leaves, and brilliant color. On the wings of change, I changed my blog to suit fall. Enjoy the brown and Monet! Welcome to Fall...

TiVo Talk

Last Thursday Da and I went to Mr. and Mrs. Smith's house for Fajita Thursday and left with a goody bag. It's contents were as follows:

1. 2 bottles of Hogue 

2. Rachel Ray fondue pot

3. TiVo

Now a week later, the Hogue is long gone, Rachel Ray was used Monday night with my ladies, and TiVo is hooked up and talking away in my living room! No joke, it took the entire day to try and figure out how to hook up and re-program TiVo because it was Mr. and Mrs. Smith's and so the instructions and half the necessary cables were long gone. I must say, Da showed up as Handy Andy and fixed her right up. If you have never heard TiVo before, she makes a fun little "Boop Boop" noise as she changes channels or records. One would think this would be annoying, but it is really quite friendly. 

Taylor+TiVo=Bliss

Wishing you TiVo and a lack of drama on this fine Saturday night....

Breaking the Cycle

I am in a treatment of abuse class this semester and we started off talking about the pathology of abuse and it's roots. As we all have known for years, the cycle of abuse can only be broken if one person consciously breaks the cycle. I don't want to say it gives those who are abusers an excuse to perpetuate abuse, but people do what the learn, and they learned what they saw. It takes incredibly strong and dedicated people to break this pattern and the breaking away comes with many assumptions and challenges that are much more difficult than the abusing. Many people try with good intentions to stop the cycle, but sadly, it is easier to continue in the fashion of those that once surrounded you. Abuse is not just physical or sexual abuse. The definition of abuse includes mental abuse and emotional abuse. Some experts say it is more accessible to treat physical and sexual abuse, but the real demon to treat, is emotion and mental abuse. They are subjective to their core. You cannot see, touch, or document mental scars. They take years upon years of therapy and treatment for the mental and emotional scars of our past to slowly dissipate. Therapy is the Neosporin for these scars. It takes time and patience and a whole hell of a lot of work.

Thus, the past few weeks of post-wedding splendor has been tainted with the selfishness and chaos of others. I am baffled and speechless with what has been said and done in response to a lack of invitation. I am confused. At the top of each invite and the bottom of each program my darling Sis and Tyson wrote a few words on how they wanted to share their day with those who have loved, supported, and been with them thru everything during the duration of their relationship. Those who cannot say this to be true, there is your reasoning. Enough said.

Similarly, Annie, the qualities I love most about you are exactly the qualities that you have spent a lifetime perfecting. I don't want you to alter one thing....not a one! You have broken the cycle of emotional chaos and I applaud you. You have risen above it and spent countless amounts of time living what you value most. This trait alone is so admirable and I am so sorry that you were alone on your first quest of "self." I wish I could have been there with you as you have been there with me. All I can say is that the hard work you have done has paid off because you are sheer brilliance to me. You emulate the person I can't wait to be. Together you and Mom have created a family culture that is well beyond what you had and I thank you. Thank you for giving me an example of what a family looks like and what siblings should be like. Morgs and I have mirrored you and Mom, and I couldn't think of better models. So, Annie, don't alter anything. Don't try and self-discover your way into leaving emotions out. Those emotions are what connects you and I. We are miles upon mile apart, and when I talk to you, I want the emotion whether it is judgmental or joyful...I want it all!

Finally, my dear Morgs. What i enjoy most about your lack of self-editing is that you encourage others to try it on and pass it around. You have the pick-eye of good traits. I know you got this from Sheri, and keep it up!  No apologies required.

PS I love this Power of 4 business....I feel like I am a Power Ranger of come sort!!!

porko

Hey all you bloggers!!!! You know when you want to post a comment on someone's blog and you have to enter in those random letters that are all psyched out that you have to squint with one eye and pretend to did a line of coke and LSD to figure it out????? Well, I am always perturbed because the letters are so random and in not particular sequence that the OCD in me wants it SO badly to make sense. Nonetheless, today it finally did

P   O    R    K   O

appeared in perfect penmanship and in blue block lettering! I was so shocked that it made an actual word, well kind of a word, but closer to a word than ever before. I think the blogosphere is finally apologizing for all of my frustration when trying to punch in the letters time and time again!!!!

Thank you blogger:)

Much love to my Denver friend who can't seem to stop herself from having any of the following: surgery, new medical discovery, and/or pink eye. I miss you hope hope you are better without your crawdad.

P.S. I kind of love Sarah Palin because her fam is a bit on the trashy side.....and because I think she might just save us all from grampy Mc-insane!

My Moment

Morgan wanted me to comment on what I remember as my moment from her wedding, this is it. When I turned and walked down the isle with Seth I just about lost it. Us girls had been in sequester since the morning and hadn't seen the transformation that the barrel room had experienced...I was overwhelmed. The day had finally come. Our year of wedding was commencing and I was going to watch my sister REALLY leave our nest and make her own nest with Tyler. I started to cry. Just when I got situated into my spot at the front, Judge asked everyone to rise. I got a bit confused and frustrated for that moment because they (the guests) were blocking my view. As she came into focus, my heart melted. My sister, my big sister, was walking towards her future. I tried to stifle my sobs so that no one would think I was too obnoxious, but I gave up. Then, she looked at me. It was but a glance but it was a look I have seen thousands of times. This look is the equivalent of her asking, "Do I look alright?" I cried harder and she smiled. The ceremony went on and I calmed myself down a bit and just as Judge announced my sister as someone new, she did it again. She went in to grab her bouquet from me and for a second the world stopped. Her eyes said it all. She knew. She knew how hard this was for me and how happy I was for her. Her eyes had understanding and bliss in them. I have never seen her like this before, but I am so glad she took a moment to let me into her happiness. And just like it came, the moment was gone and she was walking away. 

I don't mean to sound dramatic and of course these are all interpretations of how this all went down for me. For all I know Morgan might have been looking and hinting at something caught in my teeth, but for my moment that is what it meant to me. 

Most of the night was a blur of wine, music, and twinkling lights, but I will remember the way my sister looked, smiled, and laughed. These are the moments I will remember.

Faults of Faux

Ever since I got spray tanned on Tuesday night, my life has revolved around not upsetting the tan. Example: I have an itch on my leg. Do I itch it? NO!!! I am deathly nervous that my tan will scratch off. The girl at the London House (P.S. The only reason I like London thus far) told me that once the top layer of my skin is rubbed off or disturbed, my tan will be gone! I don't think she told me this to frighten me, but I have had nightmares about rubbing or scratching my skin and ending up looking like a mangy calico cat for the wedding. On the up side, I love being so tan with out much effort....other than not touching, sitting, scratching, moving, or any other skin touching activity. Furthermore, I had my touch up tonight and I am again fretting about my rubbing and touching. I even considered sleeping in a different bed from Da because we have two queens in our Camp Wedding suite. Then I (When I mean "I" I mean "We" because once I shared this idea with him he rolled his eyes and said, "Um, whatever Tay. It's just a tan.") realized I was ridiculous and I'm letting skin dye dictate my choices. This is stupid. I curse you spray tan....but please look good for Sunday:)

Raising Will

While packing for the upcoming sisterly nuptials, I was petting my ever-curious suitcase kitties and noticed that Fluffy had his first mat since being shaved. After I finished selecting my weekend Hanky Panky, I got my Furrminator out and brushed away. After 4 fists of hair and plenty of non-threatening growing from the Fluff, we were done and I put him on the ground with his brother. Cue Will's transformation from cutie to a combo of Ted Bundy and Charles Manson. He acted like he had never met Fluff before and promptly started to growl and bite Fluffy on the back. Dave told Will to knock it off and, I kid you not, Ted/Charles (Will) looked at him, pulled his ears back and smacked Fluffy in the face while looking unblinkingly at Dave. YIKES!!! I let them hash it out a bit to see what was up, and wouldn't you know, my Fluffy does have a brain. It was like a light clicked and he was like, "WTF man. BACK OFF ME!!! My mom just tore the living hell out of my fur and I don't need your bull shit right now." He smacked Will right back and hard. He stood up on his little hind legs and just like the Kitty Chow commercial, he let Will have it. He was boxing with Will's whiskers and watching this power shift moment was quite thrilling. Will had NO idea that Fluffy had it in him!! WAY TO GO FLUFF!!!! I loved every minute of it, until Fluffy started to back up and cower under the coffee table. Show was over for Fluff. Meanwhile, Helter-Skelter had puffy tail, Halloween back, and sound like some kind of safari animal. I backed him away from Fluff and tried to calm him and again, right before my eyes, he transitioned into a loving and adorable cat again. What is wrong with him you ask? I'm not positive, but it feels a bit like raising a serial killer.

In the Dark

I am finding myself in the dark about EVERYTHING lately. Can someone please turn the lights on?

Night Show

I have been getting terrible sleep lately. I wake up at least 3 times during the night. Last night,  woke up at 12:05, 3:22, and 4:50. All of which were to blame on my ever-noisy cats. I wish I could bottle up what they do whilst my eyes are closed for you all to experience, unfortunately I must try and describe this in words. Okay, picture this. Close your eyes for the true experience. Oh, wait then you can't read.....umm, nevermind. Scratch the closed eyes. Anyway, my eyes cracked open for the first time to this funky sound and a meow from Will. He doesn't usually meow much unless he is A) out of food, B) out of food, or C) high on cat nip. I woke up knowing that I had feed them and he wasn't on drugs, so my mind went into panic mode. I frantically jerked awake and inspected the apartment for signs of him. After 2 rounds in the apartment and no luck  and was about to wake Dave up, I saw him underneath my sheets trying to start a game I like to call, "sheet freak." Sheet Freak is when he goes under the sheets and likes to attack everything that moves. He peaks his head out and looks to make sure your watching and backs up only to tear your hand to shreds. It's really cute once you get past the pain and the creepy look in his eyes. Anyway, once I found him, I swore at him and then tried to cuddle. Being the ass that he is, he looked at me like I was the purple-people eater and promptly left. I tossed and turned until I was awaken again at 3:22 by Fluffy's scratching. He does this thing where in order to get our attention he scratches oh so gently at ANYTHING. It drives me nuts! This was not one of those habits that I thought was adorable when he was a kitten and now scorn myself every time he does it now. NO, I have always hated this habit. Nonetheless, it forced me out of bed to find out where he was and what he was scratching. I know what you are thinking, close the bedroom door, I can't people, Fluffy will scratch at the door until it is open and Will will force the thing open with his huge man ass. Thus, I find him looking adorable as ever in the bathroom, his favorite room, scratching at the tub, his favorite item. I tried to be mad, but he flopped unto his tummy looking adorable and so snugly and when I went in to touch this sacred area, he venus fly-trapped his belly with my hand inside and bit my knuckles. UGH! Again, I got in bed for some more tossing and turning to wake up AGAIN to mystery scratching. I got up to investigate and I found the two of them in their bathroom, otherwise known as our office. When using the lavatories, Fluffy is in there for at least 15 minutes,  I kid you not. He scratches of five minutes before he finds the perfect spot in the 1.5X1 box and then does his business. He then takes 2 minutes to poo and then takes 8 minutes to cover his waste. I have timed him. But it is not just scratching at the litter, no no no, its scratching at the sides of the box, the top of the box, the outside of the box, anywhere that can make noise, he will scratch it. I don't have any idea why he does this.  Meanwhile, Will is fixated in front of the box as an audience to the scratch and sniff show. I giggled momentarily and then realized how ridiculous they were and went to bed. Thus, my night was filled with cat-chaos and I have no idea what to do about them. The scratching is getting so off the wall that I will soon be without any sleep and without any fun.